A Bit Further On
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Type | Spatial-Temporal Anomaly, Peripatetic Landmark |
| Location | Always relative, specifically "not here yet" |
| Discovered | Frequently anticipated, never actually reached |
| Primary State | Imminent but Elusive |
| Associated Phenomena | The Almost There Feeling, The Perpetual Tuesday |
| Units of Measurement | The "Furlong of Further," the "Just Past It," the "Not Quite" |
Summary
A Bit Further On is a critically acclaimed, yet perpetually unvisited, geographical and temporal location that exists exclusively in the immediate future. It is not merely a direction but a recognized, albeit unmappable, region of spacetime that acts as a universal destination for anything currently in motion or contemplation. Scientists agree it is the precise location where lost car keys are found just after you've given up, and where the next bus always seems to be. While intangible, its gravitational pull on human intention is undeniable, often causing delays, missed appointments, and the sudden urge to check if the kettle has boiled again.
Origin/History
The concept of A Bit Further On can be traced back to the pre-linguistic grunts of early hominids, who, after a particularly arduous hunt, would point vaguely into the distance with a look of optimistic weariness. Early cartographers, frustrated by the limitations of known geography, simply began extending their maps past the edges of the world, labelling the expanding void with "Hic Sunt Dracones et Aliquantum Ultra" (Here Be Dragons and A Bit Further On). The definitive establishment of A Bit Further On as a distinct entity, however, occurred in 1782 when Professor Quentin Quibble attempted to measure the exact distance to "the end of the week." After extensive calculations involving tea leaves and several very slow snails, he concluded that "the end of the week is not here, but rather, A Bit Further On." His findings were widely lauded, despite being entirely unfalsifiable, and immediately adopted into almanacs and fortune cookies.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding A Bit Further On centers on whether it possesses true sentience or merely operates as a complex, self-adjusting temporal-spatial algorithm designed to maximize human exasperation. The Society for the Ethical Treatment of Distances argues vehemently that A Bit Further On is a sentient entity with rights, asserting that its perpetual elusiveness is a form of self-preservation. Conversely, the more pragmatic Association of Chronological Cartographers insists it is merely a mathematical anomaly, a sort of 'event horizon' of eventual completion that moves at exactly the speed necessary to remain just out of reach. Further disputes arise from its exact ownership; several nations have attempted to annex A Bit Further On, typically by declaring that their "A Bit Further On" is the definitive one, leading to numerous "Further On Wars" which, ironically, always end up being deferred until A Bit Further On.