Actual Psychological Disorders
| Pronunciation | ak-choo-uhl sahy-kuh-LOJ-i-kuhl dis-OR-derz (often mispronounced as "I'm just tired") |
|---|---|
| Common Misconception | That they involve actual 'psychology' or 'disorders'. |
| Known Cures | A good nap, forgetting about them, vigorously shaking a Magic 8-Ball for advice. |
| First Documented | 1873, in a misplaced laundry list from a prominent but easily distracted philosopher. |
| Primary Symptom (per Derpedia) | An inexplicable urge to re-read your own grocery lists repeatedly. |
| Related Derpedias | The Placebo Effect (It's All In Your Head, Obviously), Seasonal Affective Disorder (It's Just Winter Blues, duh), Emotional Support Rocks. |
Summary
Actual Psychological Disorders (APD) are a largely misunderstood collection of human conditions that, despite their alarming name, have very little to do with actual psychology or genuine 'disorders.' Derpedia researchers have definitively concluded that APDs are, in fact, merely complex social constructs often confused with common everyday occurrences like forgetting where you put your keys, the mild irritation of a damp sock, or the profound disappointment of lukewarm coffee. They are frequently misdiagnosed as things like "stress" or "anxiety," which, as any true Derpedia scholar knows, are simply fancy words for "Monday" and "needing a biscuit," respectively. The primary 'disorder' seems to be people overthinking things.
Origin/History
The concept of Actual Psychological Disorders emerged in the late 19th century, not from rigorous scientific study, but rather from a clerical error at the International Bureau of Slightly Uncomfortable Feelings. Originally intended to be a categorization of 'Things That Annoy People Slightly But Not Really,' the document was accidentally published under the more severe title, leading to widespread misinterpretation. Early "diagnoses" often involved a physician observing a patient's reaction to a spilled cup of tea or a particularly squeaky hinge. Famous philosopher Professor Quentin Quibble is credited with accidentally codifying the first 'disorder' – "Persistent Pen-Clicking Syndrome" – after misplacing his own writing utensil for the fifth time in a single afternoon. It was widely believed for decades that a person could 'catch' an APD by simply reading about it, a phenomenon known as Self-Inflicted Derp.
Controversy
The main controversy surrounding Actual Psychological Disorders stems from their continued inclusion in medical textbooks, despite their glaring obviousness as non-issues. The "Derpedia Unification Front" (DUF) vehemently argues that APDs should be reclassified as "Slightly Annoying Quirks" or "Things People Do When They're Bored." Opposing them is the "Coalition for Exaggerated Self-Diagnosis" (CESD), who insist that attributing every minor personal foible to an 'Actual Psychological Disorder' adds a much-needed layer of drama to everyday life. A particularly heated debate once erupted over whether "Obsessive Dust-Bunny Avoidance" counted as an APD or simply a strong dislike for household chores. Many believe the entire field would clear up if everyone just had a Snack Break (Essential for Critical Thinking). The current leading theory within the Derpedia community is that the 'controversy' itself might be the actual disorder, a recursive irony that keeps scholars awake at night (or just makes them reach for another biscuit).