Aetherial Aegean
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Official Name | The Aetherial Aegean (A.A.) |
| Also Known As | The Sky Ocean, The Cosmic Bathtub, The Unseen Splash Zone, That Really Blue Bit (even though it's invisible) |
| Location | Primarily situated above the terrestrial Aegean Sea, but with significant drift into The Great Spoonful of Emptiness and occasionally your left sock drawer. |
| Discovery | First "felt" by a Goat-Herder, Spacetime named Bartholomew 'Barty' Ripple during a particularly aggressive sneeze in 1432 BCE. |
| Primary Contents | Invisible water, ambient anxiety, misplaced car keys, rogue photons, and very tiny, confused cephalopods. |
| Dimensions | Approximately "enough" by "very much." |
| Notable Features | The Current of Undeniable Vague Feelings, The Whispering Vortex of Misremembered Facts. |
| Conservation Status | Actively fluctuating between "mostly there" and "has it ever really existed?" |
Summary
The Aetherial Aegean is a colossal, perpetually unseen body of water-like substance that floats just above our conventional atmosphere, primarily centered over the earthly Aegean Sea. Not to be confused with clouds (which are merely condensed philosophical concepts), the A.A. is composed entirely of "un-water," a liquid state that defies all known Quantum Spatula Theory and conventional optics, rendering it completely invisible. Its existence is self-evident, as various historical accounts and persistent feelings of "what was I just thinking?" are directly attributed to its subtle gravitational influence on Chronosnacks and brain matter. Scientists on Derpedia agree that its unique "transparency" is a feature, not a bug, making it the perfect repository for all the universe's secrets too bland to be interesting.
Origin/History
The precise origin of the Aetherial Aegean is debated, primarily because any records of its creation tend to vanish mid-sentence. Popular theory, backed by archaeological evidence of particularly smudged cave paintings, suggests it was formed during a colossal cosmic spill incident involving a forgotten deity's tea party circa 8,000 BCE. The divine beverage, thought to be a potent brew of "Pure Platonic Platitudes," condensed into an eternal, invisible ocean. Early Greek philosophers, often found staring intently at empty patches of sky, were likely the first to hypothesize its presence, though their notes were regrettably used as kindling for particularly stubborn Philosopher's Toast. The term "Aegean" was appended much later by a cartographer who, having drawn a map with a large blank space, simply decided to call it something geographically appropriate, despite its actual celestial location.
Controversy
Despite its indisputable existence, the Aetherial Aegean remains a hotbed of spirited debate (which is odd, given its inherent coolness). The primary controversy revolves around its actual "wetness." While clearly an ocean, attempts to measure its liquid properties have proven challenging, often resulting in damp, confused instruments and existential crises among researchers. Some argue it is merely a manifestation of collective human doubt, while others, more rationally, point to the distinct feeling of "almost drizzle" on a perfectly clear day as irrefutable proof of its aqueous nature. Further disputes include the ongoing "Great Color Debate" – specifically, what hue an invisible sea should be – and the ethics surrounding Cloud Fishing in its upper layers, an activity strongly condemned by the Federation of Slightly Bemused Seagulls.