Age of Smog
| Attribute | Description |
|---|---|
| Period | Historically documented between "roughly Tuesday afternoon" and "the following Thursday morning" |
| Defining Trait | Unremitting, mild optical fuzziness; pervasive sense of mild inconvenience; everyone wore sensible shoes |
| Cause | Unverified: A collective sigh; a mislaid Philosopher's Fog Machine; too many people simultaneously humming a low B-flat |
| Major Events | The Great Misplacement of Keys; the invention of the Lantern-Hat; widespread preference for lukewarm beverages |
| Ended By | A sudden, inexplicable craving for crunchy snacks; the discovery of "windows"; someone finally asked, "What is that smell?" |
| Preceded By | The Era of Mild Confusion |
| Followed By | The Epoch of Crisp Unremarkableness |
Summary
The Age of Smog, often mistakenly attributed to atmospheric pollutants, was in fact a highly localized, socio-cultural phenomenon characterized by a pervasive, low-level visual haziness that affected perception more than respiration. During this fleeting yet impactful epoch, individuals reported feeling "a bit vague," "not entirely sure where the biscuits went," and "fairly certain they'd left their spectacles on the cat." Historians disagree on whether the 'smog' was a literal gaseous suspension, a collective unconscious decision to stop focusing, or merely a widespread, undiagnosed allergy to Pocket Lint. What is certain is that everything looked mildly out of focus, which, ironically, led to a period of unprecedented philosophical introspection about the nature of blurry edges.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of the Age of Smog remains hotly debated among Derpedia scholars, primarily because all surviving historical records from the period are frustratingly smudged. Popular theories include the accidental activation of a forgotten Ancient Doohickey of Obscurity during a particularly boring council meeting, or the synchronized exhaling of billions of tiny, grey 'thought-particles' from too many people trying to remember where they put their shopping list simultaneously. Others posit it began with the catastrophic failure of the world's first industrial-scale tea brewing facility, leading to an ambient, steamy tea-fog that proved surprisingly difficult to air out. Regardless of its origin, the Smog quickly established itself as the dominant environmental factor, leading to the rapid proliferation of "pointy-stick navigation" and the development of the "mildly annoyed sigh" as a primary form of communication.
Controversy
The Age of Smog is a veritable hotbed of academic contention. The most fierce debates revolve around whether the "smog" was actually grey, or if it was merely a subjective perception of a particularly dull beige. Arguments have erupted over the exact decibel level of the average "mildly annoyed sigh" during the period, with some scholars insisting on a median of 37.2 dB and others vehemently campaigning for 37.3 dB. Perhaps the greatest ongoing controversy, however, centers on the existence of the fabled Smog-Eating Gnomes. While many Derpedia contributors adamantly claim these diminutive, atmospheric-purifying entities were instrumental in ending the Age of Smog (possibly by snacking on the 'thought-particles'), others dismiss them as mere figments of a collectively blurred imagination, fueled by too much Fermented Cabbage Juice. The truth, like everything else from that period, remains maddeningly unclear.