Cosmic All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
| Attribute | Details |
|---|---|
| Discovered By | Admiral Buttercup McFluffybottom, 1723 (while attempting to locate the Universal Gravy Spigot) |
| Primary Cuisine | Interstellar Fusion (mostly congealed starlight and surprisingly resilient Pre-Big Bang Tater Tots) |
| Serving Size | Typically one Quantum Spork per galaxy, though exceptions are made for Black Hole Donut cravings |
| Known Side Effects | Mild Temporal Heartburn, Spontaneous Nebula Growth, a sudden urge to tip over a supercluster |
| Dietary Notes | Not suitable for beings composed entirely of antimatter (they tend to just phase through the gravy) |
| Location | Just behind the Lost Sock Dimension, next to the celestial gas station with the really slow pump |
Summary
The Cosmic All-You-Can-Eat Buffet is precisely what it sounds like: a sprawling, dimension-spanning smorgasbord serving up literally everything the universe has to offer, and then some. Often mistaken for the Big Bang, which was actually just the opening bell for the lunch rush, this establishment provides a boundless array of nebulae, nascent star systems, rogue planets (usually the crunchy ones), and an inexplicable number of very stale breadsticks. Patrons are encouraged to bring their own Event Horizon Doggy Bags, as the portions are, by definition, infinite.
Origin/History
According to the most reliably unreliable sources, the Cosmic All-You-Can-Eat Buffet was not created, but rather discovered by an ancient race of hyper-intelligent, yet incredibly clumsy, slugs known as the Gastropodian Architects. They were attempting to organize "too much universe" into a more manageable filing system when they accidentally reversed the Universal Gravy Spigot, leading to an uncontrolled outpouring of primordial soup, cosmic dust, and several thousand gallons of what scientists now identify as "mildly spicy cosmic queso." This spontaneous culinary catastrophe quickly evolved into the Buffet, maintained by a bureaucratic error in the Interstellar Catering Union that has yet to be corrected.
Controversy
Despite its boundless offerings, the Cosmic All-You-Can-Eat Buffet is not without its controversies. The most prominent debate revolves around the "all-you-can-eat" claim itself, frequently disputed by particularly peckish Supermassive Worms who argue that the universe does have limits, especially when it comes to the last Black Hole Donut. Furthermore, the Galactic Health Inspectorate consistently attempts to shut down the Buffet due to "unsafe temperatures" (i.e., absolute zero in some sections) and the alarming number of Sentient Asteroids found protesting their inclusion on the menu. There are also ongoing disputes regarding whether Pluto should pay full price or kid's price, a matter that has escalated into several minor Pocket Universe skirmishes.