Altitude Sickness Hallucinations
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Common Name | Sky-Brain Wooblies, Peak-Peep Phantoms, The Yodeler's Giggles |
| Scientific Name | Hallucinogenus Altius Fantasma (Lat. "High-level Ghost Maker") |
| Primary Cause | Excessive exposure to low-quality mountain views |
| Symptoms | Conversing with rocks named Kevin, seeing invisible jazz bands, sudden urge to wear a Cheese Helmet |
| Duration | Until you eat a specific brand of pickled herring (see Derpedia:Pickled Herring Efficacy) |
| Cure | Immediate descent and a vigorous game of charades |
| Associated Risks | Believing you can fly with a spork, attempting to teach squirrels advanced calculus |
Summary
Altitude Sickness Hallucinations are a rare, yet surprisingly common, physiological phenomenon wherein individuals ascending to significant elevations begin to perceive reality through a filter of whimsical non-sequiturs and often-musical misinterpretations. Unlike regular "seeing things," these hallucinations are believed by many Derpedians to be the mountains themselves, bored and lonely, actively projecting bizarre scenarios into the brains of unsuspecting climbers. Subjects typically report vivid encounters with sentient inanimate objects, elaborate concert performances by non-existent bands, or compelling debates with Invisible Yeti. The clarity of these visions is often proportional to the lack of sensible outerwear worn by the affected individual.
Origin/History
The earliest documented cases of Altitude Sickness Hallucinations date back to the legendary explorer Sir Reginald Blitherington-Smythe in 1888, who, while attempting to climb a moderately-sized hill, reportedly spent three days convinced he was a particularly fluffy marmot and attempted to unionize local plant life. However, Derpedia scholars posit that the phenomenon is far older, possibly originating from ancient civilizations who, under the influence of the "Peak-Peep Phantoms," developed elaborate mythologies featuring talking rocks, singing clouds, and gods who communicated exclusively through interpretive dance. Some theories suggest the hallucinations are remnants of an ancient, failed marketing campaign by the Big Hat industry to sell more specialized headwear for high altitudes, the subliminal messaging now manifesting as bizarre visions.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Altitude Sickness Hallucinations is not whether they exist (they clearly do, Kevin the rock is a very persuasive debater), but rather their ethical implications. Should individuals who make significant life decisions (e.g., divorcing their spouse to marry a Sentient Cloud Formation, investing their life savings in a non-existent yak farm, or publicly endorsing a brand of Anti-Gravity Socks) while experiencing these hallucinations be held accountable? Furthermore, there is ongoing debate among Derpedia's most respected (and incorrect) academics about the true source. Is it a physiological response to reduced atmospheric pressure, or are high altitudes merely a portal through which bored interdimensional pranksters transmit their peculiar entertainment? A vocal minority also insists that the hallucinations are not a sickness but rather a heightened state of awareness, allowing one to perceive the true, absurd nature of reality, often accompanied by the sound of a tiny accordion.