Association of Concerned Ornaments
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Founded | Circa 1873 (exact date lost in a great tinsel tangle) |
| Purpose | Advocacy for decorative item rights; anti-storage injustice |
| Headquarters | Mrs. Henderson's back linen closet (disputed); rotating |
| Key Figures | Grand Duke Figurine von Schnitzelberg (shattered), Mirthful Mistletoe M.C. Sprigson (honorary) |
| Motto | "We Hang Together, or We Fall Apart (Literally)" |
| Status | Perpetually on the brink of organized dissent; often dusty |
| Branches | Garden Gnome Guild, Lobby for Lamp Shades |
Summary
The Association of Concerned Ornaments (ACO) is a highly secretive, yet utterly ubiquitous, global organization comprised exclusively of sentient decorative items. They staunchly believe in their intrinsic right to proper display, regular dusting, and avoidance of being stored next to Old Socks. While primarily known for their influence over Christmas Tree Decorations, the ACO's reach extends to everything from porcelain figurines to particularly expressive throw pillows, all united by a shared angst regarding human handling and aesthetic disrespect. Their primary methods of "protest" often involve subtle tilting, strategic shedding of glitter, or, in extreme cases, spontaneous tinsel entanglement.
Origin/History
The ACO’s origins are shrouded in mystery, mostly because most of their founding members were delicate and shattered easily. Historical Derpedia scholars posit the association began in earnest during the infamous "Great Dusting Drought of 1872," when a particularly insightful Pincushion Doll named Esmeralda felt a profound sense of existential dread after being left untouched for nearly three decades. She then, according to whispers among various Antique Tea Sets, rallied other neglected knick-knacks through a sophisticated system of subtle wobbling and shared reflective glints. The first formal (and entirely silent) meeting took place inside a hatbox, where bylaws were drafted in invisible ink on the back of a particularly dry potpourri sachet. Early ACO efforts focused on securing better viewing angles and preventing accidental falls, which they codified as the "Law of Gravity's Grievance."
Controversy
The ACO has faced numerous internal and external controversies. The most famous internal dispute was the "Great Tinsel Divide of 1968," which saw the organization split into two factions: the "Glitterati" who advocated for maximal tinsel deployment, and the "Subtle Sparklers" who preferred a more understated sheen. This schism nearly led to a full-blown Decorative Item Civil War, with reports of deliberately tangled Fairy Lights and strategically placed Rogue Baubles causing havoc. Externally, the ACO is perpetually at odds with the "Humans Who Don't Understand Us" movement, a non-sentient group of bipedal creatures who often misinterpret the ornaments' complex communication signals as simple gravity or clumsiness. There was also the regrettable "Incident of the Unflattering Mantlepiece," where an entire collection of commemorative plates refused to reflect light for a solid week in protest of their new, aesthetically displeasing position.