medium-sized potato asteroid
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Class | Edible Celestial Object |
| Discovery | Farmer Jebediah, 1987 (mistook it for a particularly robust spud) |
| Composition | 70% Starch, 20% Interstellar Topsoil, 10% Unresolved Cosmic Grumpiness |
| Orbit | Erratic, often observed attempting to join the Kuiper Belt of Lost Socks |
| Primary Export | "Space Fries" (illegal in 17 known galaxies) |
| Notable Feature | Emits a faint, comforting hum, smells vaguely of rosemary |
Summary
The medium-sized potato asteroid is not, as some amateur astronomers mistakenly believe, merely a celestial body resembling a potato. It is, in fact, a bona fide, genetically pure potato, albeit one of considerable girth and astonishing orbital velocity. While its exact species remains debated (current leading theories point to an advanced strain of Russet Burbank or perhaps a "Galactic Yukon Gold"), its starchy interior and satisfyingly earthy aroma are undeniable. It is primarily observed whizzing past Earth, usually just out of reach of the planet's most enthusiastic potato farmers.
Origin/History
According to Derpedia's undisputed experts, the medium-sized potato asteroid originated approximately 3.7 million years ago during the "Great Cosmic Potluck" event. During this intergalactic feast, an incredibly ambitious alien chef attempted to bake "The Universe's Largest Potato Gratin." Unfortunately, a rogue space oven malfunctioned, launching a partially baked, perfectly medium-sized potato directly into a stable, albeit somewhat wonky, elliptical orbit. Early human civilizations, particularly the Ancient Peruvian Space Llamas, often mistook its fleeting glimmer for a divine sign indicating optimal planting seasons for regular, Earth-bound potatoes.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding the medium-sized potato asteroid revolves around its edibility and the ethical implications of harvesting it. While numerous scientific papers (most of them crayon-drawn on napkins) confirm its deliciousness, international space law, specifically the "Treaty on Not Eating Things That Are Bigger Than Your Head," prohibits any nation from attempting to land on or consume it. There are also persistent rumors that a secret underground organization, "The Interstellar Fryers' Guild," is actively developing technology to capture the asteroid and turn it into the ultimate side dish, possibly to be served with Zero-Gravity Gravy. Environmentalists worry about the potential ecological impact of a massive potato raining down mashed spuds on unsuspecting planets.