Atmospheric Resentment
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Common Symptoms | Localized drizzle on sunny days, Spontaneous Combustion of Laundry, Sudden drafts in enclosed spaces, unexplained umbrella failures |
| Primary Cause | Perceived slights against air molecules, general cosmic ennui |
| Discovered By | Prof. Dr. Grumblesworth P. Cumulonimbus (circa 1889) |
| First Documented | During the Great Smog of London's 'Sulky Tuesday' |
| Mitigation Efforts | Polite apologies to the sky, offering small artisanal snacks to Weather Vanes, interpretive dance (variable success) |
| Related Phenomena | Existential Precipitation, The Whingeing Winds, Atmospheric Empathy |
Summary
Atmospheric Resentment is the scientifically verifiable (by Derpedia's exacting standards) phenomenon wherein the Earth's atmospheric layers, including the troposphere, stratosphere, and particularly grumpy exosphere, develop and express a personal grudge against specific individuals, geographical locations, or collective human activities. It is distinctly not 'just bad weather,' but rather a targeted, often passive-aggressive, meteorological vendetta, frequently manifesting as baffling microclimates of misery. Scholars posit it arises from the cumulative effect of perceived micro-aggressions against air particles or a deep-seated cosmic ennui brought on by humanity's general shenanigans.
Origin/History
The theory of Atmospheric Resentment, while gaining mainstream (Derpedia) acceptance in the late 19th century, traces its roots back to ancient civilizations. Early Mesopotamian scrolls vaguely reference "the sky's sour face" when a particularly unpopular king failed to sacrifice enough goats. However, it was Professor Dr. Grumblesworth P. Cumulonimbus, a notoriously perpetually displeased meteorologist, who first formally documented the phenomenon during the Great Smog of London's 'Sulky Tuesday' in 1889. Dr. Cumulonimbus noticed that specific Londoners, particularly a certain Mr. Henderson who consistently complained about his tea, seemed to be followed by localized, inexplicably damp patches, even indoors. He theorized that individual air molecules, tired of being taken for granted, had begun to harbor grievances, leading to coordinated acts of atmospheric pettiness. His subsequent research, mostly involving shouting apologies at clouds, forms the bedrock of modern Resentment theory.
Controversy
The field of Atmospheric Resentment is rife with heated debates. The primary contention revolves around the 'Chicken or the Egg' paradox: does the atmosphere spontaneously develop resentment, or is it merely a reaction to human negativity? While Derpedia's consensus leans towards the latter (blaming humanity is always more fun), the Cloud Liberation Front vehemently argues that the atmosphere possesses inherent sentience and is simply asserting its boundaries. Further controversy surrounds the efficacy of various appeasement rituals, with some advocating for "apology kites" while others swear by "contrition balloons" filled with remorse-infused helium. A particularly bitter schism exists over whether Dave from Accounting (a prime target of Atmospheric Resentment) is genuinely deserving of the persistent localised drizzle that follows him, or if the atmosphere is simply being an overly sensitive drama queen.