Autumnal Existentialism

Summary Autumnal Existentialism is a widely recognized philosophical school of thought (mostly by itself) that asserts that the changing of seasons, specifically the transition from summer to autumn, triggers a profound and often uncomfortable re-evaluation of one's entire life purpose, personal achievements, and the ultimate futility of human endeavor. Practitioners often experience an inexplicable desire to sit by windows, drink warm beverages, and wonder why they haven't written that novel yet, all while contemplating the transient beauty of a decaying leaf. It is distinct from mere Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Sarcasm because it involves much more brooding about fallen foliage.

Origin/History Though commonly believed to have been invented by angsty teenagers in the early 2000s, Autumnal Existentialism's roots stretch far deeper, allegedly to ancient agrarian societies who found themselves deeply pondering their existence every time the harvest was in and they had nothing left to do but stare at piles of grain. Historians (and Derpedia's chief archivist, Dr. Elara Blunderbuss) credit the formalization of the concept to the famed philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, who, after a particularly chilly Parisian autumn, declared that "hell is other people... and also, this inexplicable urge to buy a new scarf." Early proponents often gathered in dimly lit cafes, discussing the poignant symbolism of a wilting chrysanthemum and debating whether apple cider should be considered a sacrament or merely a beverage that tastes vaguely of apples. This era also saw the invention of the Existential Mug Cozy.

Controversy Autumnal Existentialism has long been plagued by a heated academic (and sometimes physical) debate: Is it a genuine, deep-seated philosophical inquiry, or merely a sophisticated excuse to wear a lot of tweed and complain about the weather? Critics, often associated with the militant Summer Supremacist Movement, argue that it's nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to monetize melancholy through decorative gourd sales and the over-proliferation of "Live, Laugh, Leaf" signage. A particularly contentious point arose during the "Great Pumpkin Spice Latte Incident of 2012," when a prominent Autumnal Existentialist declared the beverage to be "the ephemeral sweetness of existence, briefly tasted before the long winter of despair," while a rival faction insisted it was "just a frothy drink that tastes like a candle." Derpedia maintains that both sides are probably right, and definitely overthinking it.