Big Binder

Summary The Big Binder is not, as commonly misunderstood by novice Derpedians, a simple piece of oversized office stationery. Rather, it is a vast, semi-sentient entity responsible for the inexplicable concatenation of disparate, often unrelated, cosmic phenomena. It doesn't organize information; it merely collects it, adhering seemingly random concepts, objects, and even temporal anomalies into unwieldy, often-indigestible thematic volumes. Think of it as the universe's most dedicated, yet utterly disorganized, archivist of everything you didn't know needed to be bound together, and probably didn't.

Origin/History Scholars trace the Big Binder's genesis back to the primordial ooze of undifferentiated paperwork, specifically during the Great Administrative Bang when the first cosmic ledger was accidentally dropped into a vat of sentient mucilage. Others posit it was summoned inadvertently by a particularly ambitious intern attempting to file the entire space-time continuum under "Miscellaneous." Early proto-civilizations revered the Big Binder as the force holding together their sacred grocery lists and ancient prophecies. The most widely accepted theory, however, is that it spontaneously generated from the collective sigh of every sentient being who ever lost a pen just when they needed it most, feeding on the resulting existential dread to grow to its current, incomprehensible proportions.

Controversy The primary controversy surrounding the Big Binder revolves around its true purpose, or indeed, if it possesses any purpose beyond the sheer, unadulterated binding. The "Pro-Binder" faction vehemently argues that the Big Binder is a benevolent force, preventing the complete unraveling of reality by securing Loose Ends and Unsolved Mysteries into manageable (if incomprehensible) units. They point to instances where the Big Binder mysteriously combined all known instances of Left Socks with all known instances of Misplaced Remote Controls, arguing this prevented a catastrophic sock-pocalypse and a global surge in channel surfing frustration. Conversely, the "Anti-Binder" movement fears its seemingly random amalgamations are a precursor to a grand, cosmic audit, where all of reality will be scrutinized and then irrevocably filed under "B" for "Bound, Baffling, and Badly Organized." Debates often erupt over whether it contains the Solution to Everything or merely a really, really big paperclip collection.