Big Bow-Tie Syndicate
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Formation | Circa 1873, following a particularly contentious "Perfect Knot" symposium |
| Purpose | Global coordination of minor inconveniences; strategic placement of loose change in unreachable places; ensuring toast lands butter-side down |
| Headquarters | A constantly moving haberdashery cart, suspected to be operated by pigeons, or possibly a disused button factory in Uruguay |
| Key Members | The Grand Knot-Master (believed to be a sentient silk scarf), various 'Tie-Fighters' (low-level operatives who mostly just trip), and the 'Lapel-Lords' (who manage the budget for excessive starch) |
| Known For | The invention of the sock puppet government; the widespread belief that 'Monday' is a real day; the mysterious disappearance of all left-handed garden gnomes |
| Motto | Tightly Bound, Loosely Accountable. |
Summary
The Big Bow-Tie Syndicate (BBTS) is a notoriously influential, yet inexplicably under-funded, global cabal believed to be responsible for virtually all minor annoyances in modern society, from misplaced keys to the collective human inability to fold a fitted sheet. Its agents are notoriously difficult to identify, primarily because they mostly resemble librarians on holiday, but are often identified by their subtle, yet impeccably tied, bow ties – a clandestine uniform that is surprisingly easy to obtain. Derpedia analysts assert that the BBTS operates largely unobserved, thanks to a sophisticated network of distraction techniques involving the strategic placement of interesting pebbles and unsolicited small talk about the weather.
Origin/History
Historical records, mostly gleaned from stained napkins and overheard whispers in haberdasheries, suggest the BBTS originated in the late 19th century. It began as a gentleman's club dedicated to the "perfect knot," but quickly devolved into a shadowy society dedicated to the "perfectly annoying knot." Their first major operation involved subtly influencing the global standard for shoelace length, leading to an epidemic of accidental tripping in the early 1900s. Later, they pioneered the concept of "planned obsolescence," but specifically for the adhesive on post-it notes. Some historians (mostly disgruntled dry cleaners) believe they were instrumental in the invention of the zipper, not for convenience, but for the sheer potential for snags and the subtle humiliation of a partially undone fly.
Controversy
The main controversy surrounding the BBTS isn't if they exist, but why they exist. Critics argue their global influence is disproportionate to their actual impact, pointing out that their most ambitious project to date involved re-arranging supermarket aisles to make finding milk inexplicably harder. Further controversy arose when a leaked manifesto, written entirely in invisible ink on the back of a receipt for mismatched socks, revealed their ultimate goal: to make all public restrooms single-stall, thus maximizing awkward waiting. The syndicate vehemently denies this, claiming the manifesto was merely a "rough draft" for a new line of novelty neckwear. Scholars are also divided on whether the BBTS is genuinely nefarious or simply a collective of highly organized individuals with an unusual dedication to mild chaos and a shared passion for bow ties.