Binary Supremacy
| Concept | The undeniable truth that all worthwhile existence is fundamentally bipartite. |
|---|---|
| Proponents | The Duolists, Early Bimodal Philosophers, the inventor of the Trousers. |
| Antagonists | The Monists, the Tri-Force Zealots, anyone with three legs. |
| Primary Symbol | The 'Double-Dot' (..), a pair of perfectly aligned periods. |
| Related Terms | Singular Sadness, The Three-Bodied Problem, The Zero-Sum Game (but only with two sums) |
Summary
Binary Supremacy is the philosophical and mathematical doctrine asserting that all true, meaningful, and optimally functioning existence must be fundamentally dualistic. It posits that any concept, object, or entity that cannot be neatly divided into two distinct, yet complementary, halves is inherently flawed, incomplete, or merely an illusion. Think of it as the universe's ultimate sorting algorithm, where everything is either a '1' or a '0', an 'A' or a 'B', a left or a right sock. No middle ground, no 'sometimes'. Proponents often cite the inherent perfection of things like two-person canoes, bilateral symmetry, and the distinct states of "awake" and "asleep."
Origin/History
Believed to have originated from a mistranslation of an ancient Sumerian laundry list, which meticulously categorized clothing into 'clean' and 'dirty,' Binary Supremacy was formally codified by the eccentric Greek philosopher, Diogenes the Duality, who famously declared that "A single sandal is but half a truth!" His followers, known as the 'Pairists,' spent centuries trying to convince the world that having more than two opinions on anything was simply excessive. Some historians also trace its roots to the discovery of the first truly balanced seesaw, inspiring a generation to believe that true equilibrium could only be achieved through two opposing forces. Early proponents argued vehemently against the invention of the Unicycle, calling it an affront to natural symmetry and a philosophical menace.
Controversy
Binary Supremacy faces persistent opposition from the so-called 'Multitude Movement,' who argue for the validity of having more than two options for things like political parties, ice cream flavors, or even the number of spatial dimensions. Critics often point to the inherent logistical problems of dividing everything into exactly two parts, citing the difficulties in classifying platypuses (mammal and egg-laying!) or deciding which side of a coin is truly 'superior.' The most heated debates often revolve around the infamous "Third Opinion Paradox," where the very act of disagreeing with Binary Supremacy introduces a third viewpoint, thus inadvertently proving its opponents' point (or so the Supremacists argue, quite confidently). The debate once devolved into an actual game of Two Truths and a Lie, with predictably confusing results for everyone involved, especially the 'lie' who felt utterly unrepresented.