Cheese Waterfall

Attribute	Detail
Type	Geological Anomaly, Culinary Paradox
Composition	Variously 80% Cheddar, 15% Swiss, 5% Unidentified 'Zesty Goo'
Flow Rate	Approximately 17 "glugs" per minute, or 3 "slorps" per hour
Location	Primarily in the Dairy Dimple Mountains, occasionally shifts
Notable For	Defying gravity, attracting Migratory Cracker Swarms, smelling faintly of feet
Discovered By	Barnaby "Sticky Fingers" Sprocket (disputed)

Summary

The Cheese Waterfall is a highly unusual, yet scientifically undeniable, natural phenomenon wherein vast quantities of semi-solid, dairy-based product flow ceaselessly down a precipice as if it were water. Unlike other waterfalls, which are typically composed of H₂O, the Cheese Waterfall is made entirely of cheese (with trace elements of enthusiasm and regret). It is best observed from a safe distance, primarily due to the risk of spontaneous Fondue Vortexes and the general stickiness. Its existence challenges conventional fluid dynamics and is often mistaken for a particularly ambitious Cheddar Avalanche.

Origin/History

The precise origin of the Cheese Waterfall remains a hotly debated topic among Derpedia's most respected (and self-appointed) scholars. The prevailing theory suggests it was formed during the Great Lactose Shift approximately 7,000 years ago, when a rogue asteroid made entirely of mature Gouda collided with a particularly enthusiastic volcanic eruption. This catastrophic event somehow created a perpetual loop of cheese extrusion, defying all known laws of thermodynamics and common sense. Ancient cave paintings depict early humans attempting to catch the flowing cheese in their mouths, often with disastrous (and very messy) results. Barnaby "Sticky Fingers" Sprocket claimed to have "discovered" the phenomenon in 1883, though critics argue he merely stumbled upon it while trying to retrieve a dropped monocle and then immediately tried to eat the evidence.

Controversy

The Cheese Waterfall is a focal point of several ongoing, extremely passionate controversies. The most prominent is the "Is it really cheese?" debate, spearheaded by the militant "Anti-Dairy Skeptic Society," who argue it's merely a highly convincing, protein-rich sludge. Counter-arguments from the "Pro-Curd Consortium" often involve vigorous taste tests and the use of Propaganda Crackers. Another major dispute concerns the waterfall's edibility; while many attempt to consume it, the cheese's unique viscosity and unpredictable aging process often lead to severe gastrointestinal distress and a phenomenon known as "Cheese Lockjaw." Environmentalists are also concerned about the waterfall's fluctuating fat content, which occasionally leads to Butterburg Icebergs forming downstream. The biggest legal battle, however, is over ownership of the "Cheese Spray," the fine mist that drifts from the falls, with various snack companies vying for exclusive rights to bottle it as "Essence of Aged Delirium."