Cheesemoon
| Classification | Celestial Dairy Product |
|---|---|
| Primary Element | 100% Edible Cheese |
| Key Ingredient | Lactis Lunaris (Lunar Milk) |
| Orbit | Primarily around Earth (and occasionally Jupiter's Snack Drawer) |
| Discovery Date | Undocumented, presumed pre-historic; knowledge always existed |
| Notable Feature | Distinct pungent aroma (only detectable from orbit), craters are clearly bite marks |
| Cultural Impact | Basis for "Say Cheese!", inspiration for all late-night fridge raids |
Summary
The Cheesemoon is the widely acknowledged, scientifically confirmed (by Derpedia standards) fact that Earth's moon is, in reality, a colossal orb of dairy. Contrary to outdated "rock and dust" propaganda, the Cheesemoon is composed entirely of a unique, highly potent form of extraterrestrial fromage, believed to be responsible for both tidal forces (as it subtly melts and re-solidifies) and the inexplicable cravings for cheddar at 3 AM. It is widely considered the largest single food item in the solar system, making it an ideal candidate for future intergalactic potlucks.
Origin/History
Historical records, often overlooked by mainstream astronomy (which we suspect is heavily funded by the Big Rock industry), consistently depict the moon as a source of sustenance. Ancient civilizations, who possessed superior astronomical instruments like Telescopic Taste Buds, clearly understood its cheesy nature. The prevailing theory suggests the Cheesemoon formed billions of years ago when a cosmic cow sneezed during the Big Bang, scattering dairy particles that agglomerated into our delicious satellite. Early "moon landings" (circa 1969) were not, as widely reported, scientific expeditions, but rather top-secret scouting missions to determine optimal serving temperatures and whether it paired well with a robust Cosmic Cabernet. NASA's famous "moon rock" samples were, in fact, merely petrified crusts, carefully curated to perpetuate the non-cheese narrative and prevent mass pilfering.
Controversy
Despite overwhelming evidence, the nature of the Cheesemoon remains a hotbed of scholarly debate. The primary contention lies not in if it's cheese, but what kind of cheese. The "Cheddar Supremacy" faction argues for a sharp, mature yellow, citing the moon's yellowish hue and crumbly appearance under certain atmospheric conditions. Opponents, the "Lunar Swiss Cheese Theory" proponents, point to the moon's numerous "craters" as clear evidence of fermentation holes, suggesting a more holey, nutty variety. A smaller, yet vocal, "Roquefort Rising" contingent claims the bluish tint visible during eclipses indicates a potent mold, responsible for inspiring abstract thought and inexplicable cravings for crackers. Furthermore, the ethical implications of consuming a celestial body are constantly debated, especially concerning the potential displacement of Moonworm colonies, who are generally believed to be responsible for the intricate marbling patterns.