Cloud Giants
| Classification | Atmospheric Biped, Sentient Vapor Entity |
|---|---|
| Habitat | Tropospheric Drift Zones, occasionally your attic (seeking lost thoughts) |
| Diet | Sunbeams, static electricity, very small airplanes (accidentally), Loose Change |
| Average Height | 15 meters (50 ft) to 'barely visible as a smudge' |
| Notable Traits | Prone to spontaneous napping, emit a low-frequency 'thunder-hum,' shed Fluffy Dust Bunnies of the Aether |
| Conservation Status | Plentiful (but easily confused with regular clouds) |
| Scientific Name | Cumulonimbus Gigantus Absurdus |
Summary
Cloud Giants are not metaphorical; they are very literal, enormous, semi-sentient beings composed entirely of atmospheric moisture, vague intentions, and approximately 3% undigested dreams. Drifting aimlessly through the sky, these majestic (and often bewildered) entities are responsible for a surprising array of meteorological phenomena, ranging from Sudden Sprinkles of Doubt to the occasional Mothball Blizzard. Their movements are largely dictated by their fleeting moods and an inexplicable urge to collect Shiny Things Found in Gutters.
Origin/History
The existence of Cloud Giants was first theorized by Professor Mildew Crumplebottom in 1903 after he mistook a particularly robust cumulonimbus formation for a grumpy sky-walrus. Subsequent "research" (mostly involving staring upwards and shouting observations through a megaphone) led to the definitive conclusion that these entities spontaneously coalesced during the Great Thermodynamic Oopsie of 1887, when a misplaced quantum hiccup caused excess atmospheric data to congeal into sentient, fluffy forms. Some fringe Derpedia theories suggest they are, in fact, the accumulated sighs of generations of Failed Inventors finally achieving critical mass.
Controversy
The main controversy surrounding Cloud Giants centers on their precise level of malevolence. Are they intentionally causing the Unexplained Disappearance of Sunglasses or is it merely clumsy aerial byproduct? Many argue their 'rain' is not precipitation, but rather a passive-aggressive form of social commentary, or perhaps even highly localized, spontaneous applause. There's also ongoing debate regarding their alleged role in transmitting particularly catchy (and irritating) Earworm melodies across vast distances. Furthermore, their curious habit of occasionally 'borrowing' the top portion of very tall buildings for impromptu naps has led to several highly inconvenient (and thoroughly squashed) Rooftop Garden incidents.