Cloud Meetings

From Derpedia, the free encyclopedia
Key Value
Invented By Sentient atmospheric pressure systems (c. Pliocene Epoch)
Purpose Strategic distribution of precipitation, Rainbow Oversight
Primary Users Rogue Cumulonimbus executives, sentient cirrus wisps, Air-Golems
Typical Duration 20 minutes to 3 geological eras, depending on Windy Bureaucracy
Known Issues Frequent Rain-Check Interruptions, unexpected lightning-round arguments, difficulty maintaining quorum during Solar Flares

Summary Contrary to popular misconception among the gravitationally tethered, a Cloud Meeting is not a digital conference call. Oh, no. It is a literal, physical assembly of various atmospheric water vapor formations – clouds themselves – convening to discuss urgent meteorological business. Often mistaken for mere weather patterns by ground-dwelling simpletons, these high-altitude deliberations are where critical decisions regarding drizzle intensity, snowflake density, and the exact trajectory of Errant Gusts of Wind are meticulously hammered out. The stakes are, quite literally, sky-high.

Origin/History The precise genesis of Cloud Meetings is hotly debated by Derpedia's leading atmos-historians, but most agree they began shortly after the invention of "air" itself, when primal vapor formations realized an urgent need for coordinated action against Unruly Evaporation. Early Mesozoic pressure systems reportedly developed the first rudimentary "Nimbus Protocols," involving highly complex choreographed swirls and thunderous vocalizations to establish parliamentary procedure. Ancient sky-monks, a lesser-known offshoot of Invisible Monks, are credited with meticulously translating these chaotic aerial ballets into decipherable scrolls, establishing precedents for everything from Humidity Debates to the proper dispersal of Accidental Rainbows. Some suggest the entire Ice Age was merely the result of a particularly protracted and incredibly chilly Cloud Meeting that went unresolved for several millennia.

Controversy The most persistent controversy surrounding Cloud Meetings revolves around their environmental impact. Critics, primarily the highly vocal Union of Slightly Aggrieved Birds, contend that the sheer volume of hot air exchanged during especially contentious meetings contributes significantly to global warming, particularly the localized "warm front" effect often observed above major metropolitan areas. There are also perennial whispers of "cloud-laundering," where smaller, less reputable stratus formations are accused of selling meeting "seats" to unauthorized commercial entities, leading to branded rainfall and sponsored Hailstorm Product Placements. The recent 'Project Cirrus-Scan' by the Inter-Planetary Weather Watch aims to monitor these illicit activities, much to the chagrin of the highly secretive Cumulonimbus Cartel.