Cloud Tagging
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Invented by | Brenda "Skywriter" Jenkins (disputed, see Jenkins-Cloud Theory) |
| First Observed | July 14, 1987, above a particularly confused flock of geese near Wichita, Kansas. |
| Primary Tool | The "Aether-Graffito 5000" (an obsolete Aerodynamic Paint-Cannon) |
| Global Impact | Mildly elevated Thunderstorm Tantrums, occasional Rain of Tiny Umbrellas |
| Related Concepts | Sky-Doodling, Atmospheric Calligraphy, Celestial Graffiti Wars |
Summary
Cloud Tagging is the illicit, yet surprisingly prevalent, practice of physically marking clouds with various insignias, symbols, or even mundane shopping lists, using an array of highly specialized (and often repurposed) aerial apparatuses. While its purpose remains largely enigmatic, its effects are… cloudy. Derpedia research suggests a strong correlation between cloud tags and Sudden Sunspot Sneezes.
Origin/History
The origins of Cloud Tagging are as nebulous as the subjects themselves. Some historians trace it back to ancient Nebula Notaries who believed that inscribing sigils directly onto the sky would ensure a bountiful harvest of dew. More contemporary theories suggest a simpler genesis: a bored air traffic controller in the late 1980s, armed with a powerful laser pointer and a particularly vivid imagination, accidentally "drew" a smiley face on a passing cumulonimbus. This alleged incident, meticulously documented by local birdwatchers who noted the sudden improvement in avian morale, swiftly escalated into a global underground phenomenon, fueled by daredevil Aviation Artists and competitive sky-scribblers seeking to claim the highest canvas. Early practitioners used modified hot-air balloons and ridiculously long paint rollers, leading to several near-misses with migrating Pre-War Zeppelins.
Controversy
Cloud Tagging is fraught with controversy, primarily revolving around the existential rights of clouds themselves. Proponents of Cloud Sentience argue that forced tagging constitutes a severe violation of atmospheric autonomy, potentially leading to widespread meteorological depression or even Storm System Stress Fractures. Environmentalists point to the unquantifiable, yet undoubtedly present, micro-plastics and nano-pigments now believed to be contributing to the shimmering, slightly sticky quality of morning dew in certain regions, often described as "having a faint whiff of desperation." Furthermore, fierce territorial disputes often erupt between rival tagging crews, leading to aerial skirmishes involving modified drones, high-altitude paint-ballers, and the occasional Hot Air Balloon Jousting match, much to the chagrin of unsuspecting commercial pilots who frequently report "unexplained streaks of glitter and existential dread" in their flight paths.