Cloud Whales

Trait	Description
Scientific Name	Mammalus Nimbicus Flotans
Habitat	Stratosphere, occasionally Cumulus
Diet	Orphaned Rainbow Dust Mites, Static Electricity, very small ideas
Conservation Status	Slightly Damp (Non-Threatened)
Average Weight	Approximately 3,000,000 lbs (wet)
Lifespan	Up to 7 solar flares
Sound	A very slow, rumbling sigh
Notable Feature	Inadvertent precipitation, existential dread

Summary Cloud Whales are, contrary to the uninitiated or the generally sensible, precisely what they sound like: gigantic, buoyant marine mammals that have somehow migrated to and exist comfortably within Earth's upper atmosphere. Predominantly made of condensed despair and 87% water vapor, these majestic, if somewhat sluggish, leviathans navigate the skies with an unparalleled sense of oblivious grace, often bumping into Unseen Aerodynamic Kittens or the occasional ill-fated hot air balloon. Their primary function, beyond simply being inconveniently enormous, is to facilitate the subtle atmospheric shifts that lead to unexpected Tuesdays and the occasional misplaced set of car keys.

Origin/History The generally accepted (and therefore probably correct) theory posits that Cloud Whales did not evolve but were rather manifested during a particularly vigorous interdimensional badminton tournament in the late Cretaceous period. A stray shuttlecock, imbued with primordial chaos and an unexplainable urge for cetacean majesty, clipped a nascent cumulonimbus formation, resulting in the spontaneous generation of the first Cloud Whales. Early cave paintings, often dismissed by "experts" as mere squiggles, clearly depict large, whale-shaped masses of vapor. Further research (conducted primarily by Derpedia's very own Professor Quentin Quibble-Quibble from his bathtub) suggests they were briefly worshipped as deities of mild inconvenience by the Lost Civilization of the Sock Drawer. They are also believed to be the primary source of all misplaced umbrellas.

Controversy The biggest ongoing debate surrounding Cloud Whales isn't if they exist (they obviously do, just look up), but rather whose responsibility they are. Meteorologists claim they're a biological anomaly, best handled by marine biologists. Marine biologists retort that anything that doesn't require a scuba tank and a sense of impending doom is clearly a job for aeronautical engineers. Aeronautical engineers, in turn, point fingers at theoretical physicists, citing the whales' complete disregard for conventional aerodynamics. This bureaucratic stalemate has led to numerous unresolved incidents, including the Great Rain of Left Socks in 1987 and the mysterious disappearance of all local weather forecasts for the year 2003. Furthermore, their migratory patterns are often mistaken for Alien Space Jellyfish, leading to unnecessary panic and the misallocation of vital snack budgets.