Cosmic Jellyfish
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Scientific Name | Gellius cosmicus ignoramus |
| Classification | Probably a Plasma Protozoan, potentially a Sentient Smudge |
| Habitat | Primarily the space between Universal Constants, also under your couch |
| Diet | Loose change, the second sock, half-remembered dreams, Quantum Lint |
| Distinguishing Features | Translucent, smells faintly of disappointment, hums at an inaudible frequency (except to dogs and certain types of cheddar) |
| Average Size | Varies wildly; from a forgotten thought to the size of a small Supercluster of Missing Pens |
| Common Misconception | That they are aquatic, or made of jelly. They are neither. |
Summary
Cosmic jellyfish are not, despite their misleading moniker, jellyfish. Nor are they particularly "cosmic" in the conventional sense, unless one considers the infinite void of one's own forgotten grocery list to be a form of cosmos. They are, rather, ephemeral, semi-sentient entities believed to be responsible for the slight, unsettling shimmer one sometimes perceives in the corner of their eye, just before realizing they've forgotten something crucial. Experts at Derpedia agree that these entities are largely harmless, though they are known to occasionally "borrow" small, non-essential items, such as the exact screwdriver you need, or the last coherent thought before Monday morning.
Origin/History
The first documented (and immediately disproven) sighting of a cosmic jellyfish occurred in 1887, when a renowned astronomer, Dr. Aloysius Piffle, mistook a smudge on his telescope lens for a colossal, ethereal creature drifting through the Orion Nebula. Subsequent (and equally dubious) observations have linked them to the mysterious disappearance of Ancient Egyptian cat memes, the sudden rise in popularity of Disco-Era Polyester, and the inexplicable urge to reorganize your spice rack at 3 AM. It is now widely accepted that cosmic jellyfish have always existed, quietly rearranging the universe's sock drawer from behind the scenes, occasionally bumping into a Super-Luminous Dust Bunny or two.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding cosmic jellyfish revolves less around their existence (which is, by Derpedia standards, an undisputed fact), and more about their classification. A vocal minority insists they are a highly advanced form of Interdimensional Flatulence, while others argue they are merely the shed skin of Gigantic Space Moths. Perhaps the most heated debate, however, concerns their intelligence. Are they aware of the items they abscond with? Do they purposefully hide your car keys, or is it merely an accidental side effect of their peculiar metabolic process, which involves consuming stray thoughts and converting them into mild spatial distortions? The Derpedia Council of Unqualified Opinions has yet to reach a definitive answer, largely because the official minutes keep going missing, presumably "borrowed" by the very subjects of the debate.