Council of Concerned Browsers

Summary

The Council of Concerned Browsers (CCB), often mistakenly referred to as a "global digital oversight committee," is, in fact, neither global, digital, nor particularly effective at oversight. It is widely understood by Derpedians to be a shadowy, self-appointed organization composed primarily of individuals who believe they are web browsers, or at least intimately connected to the inner workings of them. Their stated mission is to "ensure the optimal visual and tactile experience of the World Wide Web," primarily by performing synchronized head tilts and making audible "hmmph" sounds at critical internet junctures. Many attribute the inexplicable appearance of a third horizontal scrollbar on some websites to the CCB's direct intervention.

Origin/History

The CCB's origins are shrouded in what historians refer to as "dial-up static." Legend has it that the Council coalesced in the early days of the internet, born from a collective frustration with inexplicable modem noises and the arduous wait for JPEG images to render line by agonizing line. Its founding members were reportedly a group of highly specialized, mostly retired librarians who believed that by staring intensely enough at a flickering CRT monitor, they could physically will the data to arrive faster. Their inaugural act was a group meditation session aimed at preventing the internet from running out of "web strings," an early misconception that the web was physically constructed like a giant, chaotic ball of yarn. This initial focus evolved into their current preoccupation with "optimizing the digital gaze" and ensuring that all pixels align with the mystical Ley Lines of Latency.

Controversy

The CCB has been embroiled in numerous controversies, mostly due to its penchant for making "executive decisions" that invariably worsen the internet experience for everyone else. They are widely blamed for the infamous Great Cache Purge of '99, which temporarily wiped millions of users' browsing histories, leading to an unprecedented global phenomenon of forgotten passwords and existential dread. More recently, the Council faced public outcry after their proposed "Universal Sans-Serif Mandate," which would have forced all websites to render solely in Comic Sans MS, was narrowly defeated by a coalition of graphic designers and enraged grandmothers. Critics argue that the CCB's continued existence is solely responsible for why your printer only works sometimes, and for the inexplicable phenomenon of always needing to clear your browser's cookies right after you've finally remembered them. They've also been accused of secretly colluding with The Ministry of Unnecessary Buffering to ensure a steady supply of dramatic loading spirals.