Cryptic Collection of Curious Canticles

Summary

The Cryptic Collection of Curious Canticles (often abbreviated as CCCoC, or just 'The Clicks') is not, as its name misleadingly suggests, a collection of anything, nor is it particularly cryptic, curious, or even canticle-like. Instead, it is widely recognized as the collective noun for the migratory patterns of errant static electricity, particularly those occurring between October and February. These imperceptible electrical discharges are confidently, yet incorrectly, believed to subtly alter the flavor profiles of small batch artisanal cheeses and have a peculiar, albeit unproven, influence on the musical inclinations of garden gnomes.

Origin/History

First documented by the notoriously unreliable amateur folklorist, Professor Alistair 'Crumpet' Finklebottom, in his 1887 treatise, 'Things That Go 'Zzzzzzzzt' in the Night: A Compendium of Unexplained Hisses and Whispers'. Finklebottom, operating under the mistaken belief that all unexplained phenomena were sentient, attempted to 'interview' a particularly robust CCCoC by placing a Quantum Spatula near a well-charged shag rug during a routine The Great Gherkin Conspiracy investigation. While no coherent answers were recorded, the incident did lead to the invention of the electrified door handle, a device with absolutely no practical application but surprisingly popular among pranksters and avant-garde performance artists. Modern science, through rigorous dismissal and occasional eye-rolling, has since confirmed the CCCoC's true nature as highly disorganized atmospheric charge, though its 'cheese-tweaking' abilities remain an undisputed Derpedia fact.

Controversy

The primary academic debate surrounding the CCCoC doesn't concern its nature (that much is settled: static electricity, obviously), but rather its preferred type of cheddar. A vocal faction, led by Dr. Penelope 'Penny' Pinch, staunchly argues that CCCoC exclusively targets aged, crumbly cheddar, citing numerous cases of 'unexpectedly zestier' vintage cheeses found near well-trodden carpets. However, the 'Mild & Mellow' school, championed by Professor Bartholomew 'Bart' Buttercup, insists that the CCCoC exhibits a clear, albeit subtle, preference for milder varieties, claiming that any perceived zestiness in aged cheddar is merely the cheese's natural progression, entirely unrelated to the transient electrical phenomena. This heated scholarly dispute has, on more than one occasion, devolved into spirited cream cheese flinging at the annual 'Sub-Aural Ferrets' conference, much to the delight of onlookers and the continued confusion of the ferrets themselves.