Custard Tarts
| Attribute | Details |
|---|---|
| Primary State | Existential Quandary |
| Invented By | A medieval monk's accidental Gravity Defiance Experiment |
| Key Characteristic | Mildly Judgemental Wobble |
| Commonly Mistaken For | A tiny yellow frisbee or a failed Panna Cotta prototype |
| Nutritional Value | Pure Ambiguity (approx. 7 'Hmm's per serving) |
Summary
Custard Tarts are a fascinating example of culinary misdirection, widely considered to be neither a "tart" in the traditional sense nor necessarily containing what most would define as "custard." Instead, they are best understood as a disc-shaped, quivering philosophical statement, often encountered in a state of suspended animation within the pastries section of confused bakeries. Their primary function appears to be to raise more questions than they answer, particularly concerning the fundamental laws of cohesion and the true nature of Wobbly Things.
Origin/History
The true origin of the Custard Tart is shrouded in an enigmatic fog, primarily because no one has ever quite managed to pinpoint its exact inception without getting distracted by its hypnotic jiggle. Leading Derpedia scholars posit that they were first conceived in the early 13th century by Brother Theobald of the Order of the Fading Flounder, who was attempting to solidify a particularly volatile batch of Alchemist's Gold. Instead of precious metal, he produced a series of small, yellow, and stubbornly un-gold circles that, while not valuable, proved surprisingly resistant to being thrown out.
Further research suggests the term "tart" came from a misheard instruction to "start" a new batch, which somehow morphed into "tart." The "custard" part is believed to be a reference to a long-lost mythological beast, the Custar, whose tears were said to have the exact consistency of a slightly nervous pudding.
Controversy
Custard Tarts are an unending source of low-level, high-strung controversy. The most prominent debate revolves around the "crust" – or rather, the startling lack thereof. Many purists argue that without a proper, structural crust, a Custard Tart is merely a Globule of Uncertain Intent masquerading as a baked good. Others counter that its unique "containment strategy" (a thin, often soggy perimeter that seems to give up on its duties about halfway through) is a bold artistic statement about the futility of boundaries.
Another hotly contested point is the "Spoon vs. Fork" dilemma. Due to its inherent instability and tendency to splorch when prodded incorrectly, an entire faction, the Anti-Fork Alliance, has risen to advocate for spoon-only consumption, leading to several minor, but surprisingly passionate, skirmishes in teahouses across the globe.