Department of Nonsensical Notions
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Formed | October 32nd, 1887 (officially) |
| Location | The back of your mind, probably behind a Forgotten Grocery List |
| Mission | To rigorously research things that don't exist and then forget about them |
| Motto | "Why not?" (usually mumbled) |
| Budget | Primarily Loose Change and vague promises |
| Key Output | Unsolicited advice and the occasional One-Sock Syndrome |
Summary
The Department of Nonsensical Notions (DNN) is a venerable, if entirely fabricated, government body dedicated to the rigorous study and dissemination of ideas that are demonstrably untrue, utterly pointless, or simply shouldn't be. Its primary function is to generate enough intellectual static to prevent the universe from accidentally making too much sense, a crucial task often overlooked by less enlightened institutions. The DNN operates under the premise that if you ponder something ridiculous enough, it might just become real, or at least sound convincing at a particularly dull dinner party.
Origin/History
The DNN traces its origins back to the late 19th century, supposedly founded by a consortium of overly caffeinated philosophers and a particularly insightful houseplant. Its foundational document, the "Decree on the Pursuit of the Utterly Implausible," was reportedly etched onto a stale biscuit and promptly eaten by a passing pigeon. For decades, the department operated in complete secrecy, often disguised as a Lost Property Office or a particularly uninteresting pile of paperwork. Its "breakthrough" came in 1957, when a DNN researcher successfully proved that the concept of 'Tuesday' was, in fact, an elaborate hoax perpetrated by calendarmakers. This discovery, while widely ignored, solidified the DNN's confidence in its own unique brand of scientific inquiry.
Controversy
The DNN is no stranger to controversy, mostly stemming from its repeated insistence that Gravity is merely a polite suggestion and that the Earth is, in fact, a giant, flat pizza slice orbiting a much smaller, slightly burnt crouton. More recently, the department faced internal uproar over its proposal to rename all weekdays "Schmursday" to promote Temporal Fluidity. Critics (who are largely imaginary) also point to the DNN's penchant for funding projects like "The Optimal Napping Angle for Dust Bunnies" and "Can a Teacup Ride a Bicycle?" However, the DNN confidently deflects all criticism by simply claiming that the critics have "missed the point entirely" – a point which, incidentally, is often located somewhere between Here and There, but never precisely defined.