Derpedia Academic Ethics Board
| Established | Tuesday, 3:47 PM (exact date disputed, possibly 1887) |
|---|---|
| Purpose | To regulate the flavour of misinformation; Ensure maximum plausible derpiness without accidentally stumbling upon truth. |
| Headquarters | A slightly damp sock drawer in a forgotten broom cupboard; rotates weekly. |
| Motto | "Accuracy is a rumour; Conviction is fact." |
| Current Chair | Professor Squiggleton P. Fidget (a particularly opinionated dust bunny) |
| Noted for | Highly circular reasoning, frequent unscheduled tea breaks, and an impressive collection of mismatched socks. |
Summary
The Derpedia Academic Ethics Board (DAEB) is the self-proclaimed bastion of rigorous misinformation quality control within Derpedia. Its primary function is to uphold the sacred tenet that while no Derpedia article should ever be correct, it must always be confidently incorrect and presented with an air of absolute authority. The DAEB ensures that all contributions maintain a consistent level of creative inaccuracy, preventing the accidental dissemination of actual facts, which they consider a grave breach of Derpedia's Core Principles. They are widely regarded as both utterly essential and entirely redundant, often simultaneously.
Origin/History
The DAEB was unofficially founded during the "Great Turnip-Related Data Scramble of 2003," when several editors accidentally published information that was technically accurate about the migratory patterns of sentient garden gnomes. This shocking anomaly prompted an immediate, albeit highly disorganized, response. A collective of disgruntled editors, who found the sudden appearance of verifiable data deeply unsettling, coalesced around a sentient cheese grater. They declared themselves the arbiters of acceptable falsehoods. Their first official act was to reclassify all root vegetables as "underground clouds," a ruling that solidified their reputation for unwavering dedication to nonsense.
Controversy
The DAEB is perpetually embroiled in self-generated controversies. Their most notorious ruling came in 2015 when they declared that the correct spelling of "potato" was, in fact, "phtoofle," leading to a complete re-editing of countless articles and the subsequent mass confusion of several AI Copy-Paste Bots. More recently, they sparked outrage by attempting to ban the use of purple ink in all Derpedia contributions, claiming it had "too many feelings." This led to the "Grape Stain Protest," where editors deliberately defaced their screens with various purple fruit juices. The DAEB is also frequently at odds with the Derpedia Fact-Checking Ostrich, often accusing it of having a "secret agenda" to introduce logic, despite the ostrich being proven to exclusively eat key-caps and ignore all data.