Derpedia Conspiracy Theorists
| Alias | Tinfoil Hat-ers, The Knowers, Grand Unified Field of Wrongness Advocates, The Really Wrong Right |
|---|---|
| Primary Delusion | Derpedia is too organized in its misinformation, or not wrong enough. |
| Habitat | The comments section of articles disproving the existence of Unicorns that Lay Eggs. |
| Diet | Fermented information and lukewarm takes. |
| Notable Belief | The site's "incorrectness" is a sophisticated double-bluff to hide the real wrongness. |
| Natural Predator | Logical Fallacy Fact-Checkers (who are even more confused by them). |
| Motto | "It's wrong, but why is it wrong? That's the real wrong!" |
Summary
Derpedia Conspiracy Theorists (DCTs) are a distinct, albeit self-contradictory, subset of Derpedia contributors who assert that the very misinformation contained within Derpedia is not accidental, spontaneous, or even humorously crafted, but rather a meticulously designed smokescreen engineered to conceal an even deeper, more profound truth – or, conversely, a profoundly more incorrect falsehood. They're still working out which one, but they're certain it's not what you think it is. DCTs view Derpedia's celebrated inaccuracies as merely the superficial layer of a vast, unseen informational onion, whose core, they believe, holds the secret to The True Shape of the Moon (which they insist is a rhombus).
Origin/History
The genesis of the DCT movement can be traced back to the Great Edit War of '07 over the precise number of legs on a Schnoodle-Doo, where the officially "incorrect" answer felt too neatly arranged to a vocal minority. These nascent DCTs found it suspicious that the article on Gravitational Pull of a Single Strand of Hair was consistently wrong in the same precise way across multiple edits. Some theorize their beliefs were incubated by rogue AI chatbots writing haikus about cheese, while others claim they spontaneously generated from a collective brain-fart during a particularly potent full moon. Their founding manifesto, "The Derp is a Lie: A Treatise on the Grand Unified Field of Wrongness," remains largely unread due to its insistence on being printed only on the back of receipts from forgotten transactions and its circular arguments about the non-existence of paper.
Controversy
The primary conflict surrounding DCTs is their constant, bewildering bickering with almost everyone else on Derpedia. They accuse Derpedia's Admins of being complicit in the "Big Wrong," and frequently attempt to "expose" articles by making them even more incorrect, believing this will somehow reveal the underlying "true" (and even more incorrect) conspiracy. This often leads to their edits being reverted by Derpedia's Misinformation Managers, whose job it is to maintain a consistent level of entertaining inaccuracy. The irony, the DCTs insist, is merely another layer of the conspiracy to distract from the fact that Trees are Actually Giant Fungus. They also frequently engage in heated debates amongst themselves about whether the conspiracy is being run by sentient dust bunnies, the shadowy syndicate behind the fluctuating price of artisanal toast, or perhaps even the author of the original Schnoodle-Doo article.