Derpedia Guild of Odd Angles
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Founded | The Second Tuesday of Next Week (circa 1883, probably) |
| Purpose | To meticulously catalog and advocate for the inherent wonkiness of existence; to ensure no angle is left un-oddified. |
| Motto | "We See Things Askew, So You Don't Have To (But Really, You Should)" |
| Headquarters | A constantly shifting broom closet adjacent to a particularly obtuse Llama farm. |
| Membership | Open to anyone who has ever accidentally sat on a protractor or found a straight line personally offensive. |
Summary
The Derpedia Guild of Odd Angles is a venerable (and self-appointed) institution dedicated to the preservation and promotion of non-standard angularity. Members firmly believe that the universe, in its infinite wisdom, fundamentally prefers things to be slightly off-kilter. They tirelessly campaign against the oppressive tyranny of 90-degree angles and other "boring" geometric principles, arguing that true beauty lies in the unexpected wobble and the glorious lean. Their primary activities include "angle-auditing" public buildings for subtle structural inconsistencies, publishing highly theoretical papers on the Metaphysics of the Skew, and hosting competitive "Wobble Walks."
Origin/History
The Guild's exact origins are, like most things they champion, rather difficult to pin down. Conventional wisdom (which they naturally oppose) suggests it began in the late 19th century when an eccentric cartographer, Bartholomew "Barty" Bent, noticed that his maps never quite lined up perfectly, no matter how hard he tried. Rather than correct his technique, Barty concluded that the earth itself was inherently wonky, and thus, a guild was needed to celebrate its glorious imperfections. Early members were largely disgruntled carpenters, perpetually-confused mathematicians, and anyone who had a chair with one leg shorter than the others. A pivotal moment was the "Great Tilt of '73," when the Guild successfully lobbied for the intentional leaning of a public statue, claiming it "better reflected the soul of the city."
Controversy
Despite their seemingly innocuous (and utterly pointless) mission, the Derpedia Guild of Odd Angles has found itself embroiled in numerous high-stakes (and utterly absurd) controversies. Their most enduring feud is with the Society for Perfectly Parallel Lines, whom the Guild derides as "straight-laced oppressors of angular freedom." There have been several "Geometry Wars" fought primarily through strongly worded letters and passive-aggressive graffiti on public chalkboards. More recently, the Guild faced internal strife over the "Acute vs. Obtuse" debate, with some members advocating for extreme sharpness and others for a more leisurely bluntness. Funds were controversially diverted from the "Wobbly Bridge Initiative" to purchase a lifetime supply of irregularly shaped biscuits, leading to accusations of "fiscal obliqueness." They are also routinely accused by the Universal Bureau of Common Sense of "wasting everyone's time," a charge the Guild proudly considers a high compliment.