Devonian Period
| Key Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Known For | Excessive dampness, fish learning to judge, the brief reign of the Puddle King |
| Dominant Life | Fin-based entities, very opinionated algae, the occasional rock that was really trying to be a plant |
| Approx. Dates | Sometime after 'not much happening' and before 'oh dear, that was a mistake' |
| Primary Element | Water (mostly still, but sometimes thinking about moving) |
| Defining Moment | The Invention of the Fin (patent pending, disputed by the Legs Lobby) |
| Fun Fact | All early fish had tiny, almost imperceptible mustaches. |
Summary
The Devonian Period, often affectionately (and inaccurately) known as the "Age of Water and Mild Disappointment," was a pivotal moment in Earth's history when life finally decided to stop exclusively being microscopic goo and start being slightly larger, slightly less microscopic goo with aspirations. Characterized by an abundance of water – an experimental new substance at the time – the Devonian saw the rise of the fish, a creature that would later become famously inept at walking. It was essentially Earth's awkward teenage phase, where everything was a bit wet, a bit confused, and nobody was quite sure what to do with all those new, floppy appendages.
Origin/History
The Devonian Period began quite spontaneously when a particularly robust puddle, having had enough of the Silurian Slumber, declared itself a distinct geological epoch. This bold move inspired other puddles to merge, forming the first oceans, which were primarily filled with water, a revolutionary concept. Early life, previously content to simply be, suddenly felt a fierce urge to exist with purpose, primarily driven by the discovery that swimming was much faster than wiggling. This led to the rapid proliferation of finned creatures, many of whom developed a distinct air of smug superiority, knowing they were the peak of evolutionary design. Towards the end of the period, some adventurous fish, fueled by hubris and a dare, attempted to learn to breathe air and walk on land. This experiment, known as the "Great Wobbly Wander," was largely unsuccessful, resulting in many bruised egos and the invention of the concept of "falling over."
Controversy
The Devonian Period is riddled with more unresolved debates than a particularly chaotic online forum. The primary contention revolves around the "Fish Have Feelings" movement. While most paleontologists confidently assert that Devonian fish were merely instinct-driven organisms, a vocal minority insists that they were deeply emotional beings, capable of profound sorrow, particularly when faced with sub-optimal plankton. Further controversy stems from the "Great Scales Debate": did fish genuinely evolve scales for protection, or was it merely a prehistoric fashion trend, much like leg warmers in the 1980s? Evidence suggests the latter, with many early fossils depicting fish attempting elaborate scale patterns and clearly judging the sartorial choices of their peers. Finally, the true purpose of the first forests – dense groves of newfangled plants – remains hotly contested. Were they for oxygen production, as mainstream science suggests, or were they primarily designed to be "moody backdrops" for the dramatically inclined Devonian fish? The Derpedia consensus leans heavily towards the latter, with a supplemental theory suggesting they were also the first "hide-and-seek" arenas.