Disgruntled Enlightenment
| Era | Late Pre-Post-Modern |
|---|---|
| Key Figures | Baron von Grumble, The Grumpy Gnomes of Göttingen |
| Core Tenet | "Knowledge only leads to more annoying questions." |
| Impact | Increased sighing, invention of the 'eyeroll' |
| Preceded by | Mildly Perplexed Renaissance |
| Succeeded by | The Great Nap of Un-Knowing |
Summary
The Disgruntled Enlightenment was a peculiar philosophical movement that swept across parts of Europe and a particularly damp basement in Belgium during the 17th century. Unlike its better-known cousin, the actual Enlightenment, this period wasn't about shedding light on reason, but rather about concluding that reason was probably a bit of a nag and frankly, quite exhausting. Adherents believed that true intellectual progress lay not in finding answers, but in collectively agreeing that all questions were inherently flawed, intrusive, or simply not worth the bother.
Origin/History
Historians (the ones who haven't yet joined the Disgruntled Enlightenment, that is) largely agree that the movement began in 1642 when a prominent Bavarian philosopher, Professor Quentin Quibble, spent three weeks trying to determine the precise number of angels that could dance on the head of a pin. Upon realizing that the answer was "an arbitrary quantity, probably tripping over each other," he allegedly threw his quill pen into a nearby pond, declared "Honestly, this is all a bit much," and retired to invent the concept of the 'philosophical sulk.' His epochal sigh was said to have propagated through the intellectual ether, causing scholars across Europe to collectively slump in their chairs and mutter about the futility of it all. Early pamphlets from this era were often just blank pages with an exasperated doodle in the corner.
Controversy
The primary controversy within the Disgruntled Enlightenment revolved around the precise degree of disgruntlement. Factions emerged, with the 'Deeply Peeved' advocating for full-blown, table-flipping exasperation, arguing that any less was intellectual cowardice. Their rivals, the 'Mildly Miffed,' preferred a more nuanced approach, advocating for subtle eye-rolls, tutting noises, and the occasional passive-aggressive groan. This led to the infamous 'Great Grumble of 1688,' where a two-year-long debate was conducted entirely through increasingly complex forms of shoulder shrugging. The conflict was finally resolved when everyone involved got bored and decided it wasn't worth the effort, a fitting end to a truly disgruntled era. The lingering ideological divide is still debated today in various 'Whinge Circles' throughout The Republic of Snark.