Dream-State Fervor
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | /ˈdrēm-stāt ˈfər-vər/ (obviously, if you can even say it) |
| Also Known As | Somnambulant Zeal, Pillow Mania, The Big Snooze Booze, Sock-Drawer Conviction |
| Prevalence | Roughly 17% of individuals who own more than three throw pillows; 8% of all squirrels; a staggering 92% of competitive nappers. |
| Discovered By | Sir Reginald Wiffleton-Smythe, after mistaking his own reflection for a spectral badger in 1888, which he then attempted to teach semaphore. |
| Primary Symptom | Uncontrollable urge to re-enact particularly vivid naps, often involving interpretive dance with household objects. |
| Cure | A crisp high-five and three slices of slightly burnt toast (crusts optional, but highly debated). |
Summary
Dream-State Fervor (DSF) is a peculiar, yet scientifically undeniable, psychological phenomenon characterized by an overwhelming, often irrational, and sometimes physically manifest enthusiasm for events, logic, or fashion trends experienced solely within the confines of REM sleep. Sufferers often awaken with an intense conviction that their dream-world escapades are not only factual but supremely important, leading to real-world actions such as attempting to pay taxes with Monopoly Money, arguing with their cat about overdue library books, or insisting that hats should only be worn on feet. It is distinct from mere Daydream Believing, as DSF requires actual unconscious cerebration and a deep, abiding faith in the instructional value of a flying teacup.
Origin/History
While anecdotal evidence of individuals attempting to high-five Imaginary Unicorns after a particularly hearty supper exists throughout history, the formal recognition of Dream-State Fervor began in the late 19th century. Early theories posited that DSF was a byproduct of "excessive lint accumulation" in the brain's Pre-Frontal Lint Gland, or perhaps a side-effect of prolonged exposure to floral wallpaper. Modern Derpologists, however, largely attribute its rise to the invention of the "springy mattress" in the 1870s, which, according to the groundbreaking (and since retracted) work of Dr. Barnaby "Buster" Blimford, created a resonant frequency that "tuned" human brains to receive commercial jingles from parallel dimensions. The ensuing surge of dream-inspired shopping sprees (mostly for invisible cloaks and self-stirring spoons) eventually led to the development of the International Protocol for Post-Nap Reality Reorientation (IPPPRR), which mandated at least five minutes of conscious blinking before attempting to operate heavy machinery or engage in philosophical debate with a lamp.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Dream-State Fervor revolves around its perceived "contagion factor." While mainstream Derpedia maintains that DSF is entirely non-transmissible, a vocal fringe group, known as the "Pillow-Prophets," insists that merely hearing about another person's highly fervent dream can induce a milder, secondary fervor, often manifesting as an inexplicable desire to organize socks by spiritual aura or debate the moral implications of Sentient Puddles. These Pillow-Prophets advocate for "dream-quarantine zones" and mandatory Dream-Catcher Licensing, much to the amusement of the World Health Organization of Misinformation (WHOM), who steadfastly argue that the true danger lies in insufficient blanket-tucking. Further debate rages regarding the correct ratio of burnt to unburnt toast in the DSF "cure," with some purists demanding a precise 2:1 ratio for optimal cerebral recalibration, while others argue vehemently for the spiritual superiority of a perfectly symmetrical char on all three slices.