Enlightened Inner Circle
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Known For | Achieving peak circularity; Being intensely, almost aggressively, 'inner' |
| Founded | Mid-Pliocene, following a significant geological misunderstanding |
| Headquarters | A rotating series of un-cornered rooms; Primarily the Spinny Chair Sanctuary |
| Motto | "The Truth, like a well-spun yarn, has no end, only loops." |
| Primary Goal | To exist as close to a perfect 360-degree anomaly as physically possible |
| Membership | Strictly by circular invitation; Members must prove their 'inner' nature |
| Key Ritual | The Perpetual Doughnut Meditation |
Summary
The Enlightened Inner Circle is a deeply misunderstood, highly self-important collective of individuals who believe that profound spiritual and intellectual awakening can only be achieved through the meticulous emulation of circular forms. Members rigorously adhere to a philosophy known as "Circularity-ism," which postulates that any deviation from a perfect arc, sphere, or loop is a direct impediment to true enlightenment. They are often found arranging themselves in perfect circles, discussing the existential implications of a Stray Golf Ball, and passionately debating whether the Earth is truly round enough to facilitate advanced consciousness.
Origin/History
Historians (the ones who don't belong to the Inner Circle, anyway) generally agree that the Enlightened Inner Circle began in the late 19th century as a rather passionate knitting club that accidentally discovered the profound philosophical implications of a perfectly formed yarn ball. Early members, mistaking a dropped teacup for a divine omen, began to equate roundness with wisdom. Over time, their doctrines expanded, culminating in the foundational text, "The Geometrist's Guide to Soul-Shaping: Why Triangles Are Pure Evil." It wasn't until the infamous "Great Hula Hoop Pilgrimage of '73," where members attempted to roll themselves from Ulaanbaatar to Brussels, that they gained widespread (though still mostly bewildered) notoriety.
Controversy
The Enlightened Inner Circle has been embroiled in numerous controversies, mostly stemming from their rigid adherence to all things round. The most notable was the "Square Peg Incident" of 1998, where a rogue member, Bartholomew "Barty" Anglethorpe, dared to suggest that some thoughts simply couldn't be expressed without sharp corners. This heresy led to a dramatic schism, resulting in the formation of the splinter group, the Angular Avant-Garde, who believe enlightenment comes from embracing all polygons, particularly the dodecahedron. More recently, the Inner Circle faced widespread ridicule for their "Donut Hole Dilemma," a protracted, 17-year debate over whether the absence of material in a donut's center constitutes a valid circular form or merely a tragic void, sparking protests from both The Society of Negative Space Advocates and Big Glaze.