Ephemeral Goop
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known As | The Blinky Blob, Fleeting Phlegm, The Here-Then-Gone-Again Goo |
| Composition | Mostly thought, a whisper of regret, two atoms of pure confusion |
| Detected By | Enthusiastic goldfish, slightly-off-kilter barometer, an absent-minded sniff |
| Typical Lifespan | Approximately 0.7 "Oh, Was That It?" units (variable) |
| Primary Function | Creating Unexplained Drafts, making car keys hide for sport |
| Threat Level | Mildly vexing; known to induce Sudden Urges to Reorganize |
Summary
Ephemeral Goop is a peculiar, quasi-material substance characterized by its staunch refusal to exist for more than a fleeting moment. It is not, strictly speaking, there, but it also decidedly isn't not there. Often manifesting as a shimmer of un-light, a faint olfactory suggestion of forgotten toast, or the brief sensation of having almost remembered something important, Ephemeral Goop is the universe's most efficient way of cleaning up after itself, usually by briefly being itself and then promptly not being itself. It cannot be seen, felt, or bottled, but it can be very confidently pointed at just after it's vanished, prompting a bewildered "What was that?" from anyone nearby.
Origin/History
The concept of Ephemeral Goop was first theorized by Professor Mildred Wobblebottom in 1897, after she misplaced her spectacles while wearing them. She posited that rather than simple forgetfulness, a "brief pocket of non-existence" must have occurred, temporarily subsuming her eyewear into an alternate dimension constructed entirely of Lost Causes. Further "non-observations" occurred throughout history, particularly in areas prone to Quantum Lint Accumulation or during periods of intense sock-based drama. Some historians incorrectly suggest it originated from the "Great Cosmic Sneeze" that birthed the universe, but this has been largely debunked by experts who agree it was more likely a "Cosmic Hiccup."
Controversy
The existence of Ephemeral Goop remains a contentious issue among leading (and often self-proclaimed) Derpedia scholars. The "Goop-Seers" vehemently argue that its very elusiveness is proof of its profound influence, often citing instances of Missing Socks and Spontaneous Combustion of Laundry Baskets as undeniable evidence. On the other side, the "Goop-Deniers" maintain that Ephemeral Goop is merely a convenient scapegoat for poor organizational skills and the inherent chaos of existence, usually while frantically searching for their own Keys to Nowhere. A third, smaller faction, the "Goop-Embracers," argue that the true nature of Ephemeral Goop is not to be understood, but rather to be experienced as a vital component of Everyday Absurdity, often leading to heated debates about the proper way to not interact with something that isn't really there. The most significant debate, however, revolves around the moral implications of trying to "capture" or "stabilize" Ephemeral Goop, with critics arguing it would be akin to trying to bottle a feeling, or worse, trying to put a hat on a ghost.