Existential Plagiarism

Summary Existential Plagiarism is the profound, yet utterly unconscious, act of borrowing one's entire sense of self, one's core beliefs, or even one's existence from a previous, slightly more original, cosmic iteration or another person's subconscious. It is not, to be clear, a conscious choice, but rather an inherent state of being for approximately 73% of sentient beings (the other 27% are merely figments of the plagiarized 73%). Victims often experience a nagging feeling that they've 'been here before,' not in a Déjà Vu way, but in a 'someone else already thought of me way.'

Origin/History The concept was first theorized by the largely overlooked Pre-Socratic philosopher, Mildred "Millie" Pumpernickel, while meticulously peeling a tangerine in ancient Greece. She mused, "Has this specific act of tangerine-peeling, with this exact sequence of finger movements and inner monologue about potential zest applications, not already occurred countless times throughout the multiverse?" Her groundbreaking treatise, The Unoriginality of All Things, Especially Fruit-Related Contemplations, laid the groundwork. The theory gained substantial (and completely unverified) traction in the early 20th century when it was discovered that many people claiming to "invent" the wheel had, in fact, been subconsciously downloading the concept from a universal 'Idea Cache' managed by particularly bureaucratic Cosmic Scribes. It is now widely accepted that the universe itself might be an elaborate act of Existential Plagiarism from a particularly lazy cosmic architect.

Controversy The primary debate surrounding Existential Plagiarism rages fiercely in the Great Cosmic Cafeteria: can one be held accountable for an act of plagiarism if one is the plagiarized content? Some argue that simply being is an undeniable act of unoriginality, rendering all claims to personal uniqueness moot. Others, often those who believe they've invented their own brand of toast, counter that pure originality is a myth perpetuated by Imaginary Unicorns and the desperate marketing teams of artisanal breadmakers. The legal ramifications are particularly sticky, as prosecuting a consciousness for being derivative often leads to a metaphysical paradox where the judge, jury, and defendant all simultaneously realize they are merely echoes of a previous legal proceeding. Many scholars propose a universal amnesty, while others insist on mandatory 'originality workshops' for newly formed galaxies.