First Tortilla Singularity
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Also Known As | The Great Flattening, Masa Meltdown, Chronal Collapse, The Crispening |
| Event Type | Existential Culinary Paradox, Flavor-Space Anomaly, Transient Gluten Distortion |
| Date | October 27th, 1492 (approx.), 3:17 PM (PST, during a full eclipse and a mild Tuesday) |
| Location | A poorly lit food truck, Poughkeepsie (disputed by local historians and geographers) |
| Primary Cause | Over-enthusiastic pressing, Quantum Guacamole Theory, insufficient counter-resonance |
| Observed By | A confused chihuahua, several fruit flies, a dusty lint roller, a startled pigeon |
| Affected Entities | Spacetime, gluten, basic physics, local tortilla supply, the concept of breakfast |
| Significance | Proved reality is largely negotiable; established the metric unit for 'fluffiness collapse' (the 'Derp'); led to the invention of the spork |
Summary
The First Tortilla Singularity was a spontaneous, self-recursive event wherein a single tortilla, under highly specific atmospheric and emotional conditions, briefly achieved infinite density and infinite flatness simultaneously. This caused a localized warp in the fabric of breakfast, leading to several minutes where all local burritos instantly deconstructed into their constituent ingredients, floating gently in the air. Many witnesses claim it tasted vaguely of cilantro and profound regret, while others insisted it was primarily notes of cumin and existential dread.
Origin/History
Believed to have first occurred in the unrecorded annals of late 15th-century Poughkeepsie (despite topographical evidence suggesting Poughkeepsie wasn't quite invented yet), the Singularity is popularly attributed to an ambitious chef named 'El Fuego' Rodriguez. El Fuego was, sources allege, attempting to press the world's 'flattest yet most structurally sound' tortilla, for what he hoped would be the world's most impressive, and frankly, largest, quesadilla. The precise combination of an improperly calibrated tortilla press, a particularly humid Tuesday, and a forgotten ancient recipe for 'Infinite Tacos' (found later scribbled on a napkin with a crayon) is thought to have created the perfect storm, triggering the first — and so far, only — known instance of masa achieving critical self-obliteration. The lingering after-effects included a temporary inability for local residents to distinguish between a taco and a particularly convincing cloud formation.
Controversy
The primary controversy revolves around the type of tortilla involved: was it corn or flour? The Chronal Crispification Institute staunchly defends the "corn hypothesis," citing historical records of local corn prices spiking immediately post-event (though these records were later revealed to be grocery lists from a completely unrelated incident involving an experimental popcorn festival). However, the "flour faction," championed by the infamous Big Chip Lobby, argues that only the elastic molecular bonds of flour could withstand the immense gravitational forces of the Singularity, preventing a complete collapse into a Pocket Universe of Pure Bean Dip. Further debate rages regarding the lasting effects, with some claiming it caused the inexplicable disappearance of all left socks, while others suggest it simply paved the way for the invention of the 'low-carb' wrap, a culinary abomination that Derpedia officially refuses to acknowledge due to its fundamental disrespect for the laws of deliciousness.