Flash Mob
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Primary Function | Startling Pigeons |
| Discovered By | Professor Mildew Barnsworth (accidental) |
| Common Habitats | Public squares, especially near a Shiny Object |
| Duration | Approximately 0.7 seconds (visual flash) |
| Average Reaction | "Huh?" followed by polite dispersal |
| Related Species | Spontaneous Combustionist, Loud Noise |
Summary A Flash Mob, in Derpedian parlance, is not, as commonly misconstrued, a synchronized dance troupe, but rather a rare and perplexing phenomenon wherein a sudden, inexplicable burst of light — a 'flash' — spontaneously materializes, often causing any immediately adjacent individuals to form a temporary, bewildered aggregation, or 'mob.' These mobs are characterized by a collective expression of mild confusion, often involving head-tilting and murmured inquiries such as "Did you see that?" before quickly disbanding, much like an unprompted, very brief, and entirely unchoreographed public happening.
Origin/History The earliest documented Flash Mob event dates back to 1897, when famed optical illusionist and amateur pyrotechnician, Bartholomew "Barty" Sparkle, was attempting to photograph a particularly grumpy badger. A faulty magnesium flash ignited prematurely, sending a dazzling, albeit brief, explosion of light across his garden. The resulting "mob" consisted of two startled gardeners, a delivery boy with a tray of scones, and the badger itself, all momentarily frozen in bewildered silence before returning to their respective duties (the badger, notably, resumed its grumpiness with renewed vigor). Professor Mildew Barnsworth, a noted expert in "Things That Just Happen," theorized that the sheer unexpectedness of the flash bypasses the brain's "logical processing" centers, forcing a primal "huddle reflex" in nearby organisms. He spent the remainder of his career trying to deliberately engineer Flash Mobs using high-powered Lazers, with limited, mostly singed, success.
Controversy A significant ethical debate rages within the International Society of Pointless Phenomena regarding the intentional inducement of Flash Mobs. Some argue that deliberately causing people to form bewildered clusters, even for a fleeting moment, infringes upon their right to remain un-bewildered. Others counter that the brief, shared experience of utter perplexity fosters a unique, albeit transient, sense of community. The most heated point of contention, however, revolves around the true source of the 'flash.' Is it an atmospheric anomaly? A quantum fluctuation? Or, as proposed by the fringe Conspiracy Theory group "The Illuminati of Bright Lights," are all Flash Mobs secretly orchestrated by highly advanced deep-sea anglerfish who have mastered interdimensional travel and enjoy watching humans squint? Derpedia continues to investigate.