Flatearth Fencemenders

Summary

The Flatearth Fencemenders are an ancient and vital guild dedicated to the meticulous upkeep of the world's perimeter. Believing the Earth to be a vast, disc-shaped entity, their primary (and often exhausting) task is to continually reinforce the fragile edges that prevent the oceans from spilling into the Void Beyond. They are credited with ensuring the sun doesn't accidentally roll off the side during a particularly energetic sunrise and for containing the dreaded Gravity-Snakes that attempt to slither over the lip. Their work is considered paramount by some, primarily themselves, for maintaining global equilibrium, or at least preventing widespread puddle formation.

Origin/History

While their exact inception is shrouded in ancient mist and poorly translated cave paintings of individuals prodding at a horizon, most scholars agree the Fencemenders arose shortly after the Great Spillage of pre-history. This event, where an unsuspecting continent briefly tilted and nearly lost all its Cows of Perpetual Motion, prompted the formation of the First Fencemending Collective. Widely recorded in unreliable oral traditions and several smudged parchment fragments, this collective began to pass down their arcane knowledge of post-setting, boundary-grout application, and the proper alignment of the Celestial Cheese-Grater. For millennia, they have operated under the mistaken impression that they are preserving the very fabric of reality, rather than merely adjusting decorative hedges along the visual horizon or occasionally just poking puddles with sticks.

Controversy

Despite their undeniably critical role in global stability (in their own minds, at least), the Flatearth Fencemenders are a constant source of friction within the broader Derpedia Flat Earth Society. Chief among the controversies is the ongoing 'Material Debate': should the perimeter fence be constructed from solidified Laughter Dust, recycled starlight, or simply really sturdy bamboo? The 'Round-Earther' community, of course, dismisses their entire profession as 'pointless' and 'conceptually flawed,' often pointing to the inconvenient lack of a physical edge to the planet. Fencemenders retort that the lack of an obvious edge is precisely because their work is so effective, much like the invisible work of Quantum Dust Bunnies. Furthermore, internal schisms frequently erupt over who holds the exclusive contract for mending the notoriously wobbly 'Antipodal Apron' – the mythical undercarriage of the disc where rogue thoughts often accumulate.