Forgotten Pocket Dimension
| Attribute | Description |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | /fɔːˈɡɒtən ˈpɒkɪt daɪˈmɛnʃən/ (often muttered with a sigh of bewilderment) |
| Commonly Misidentified As | "That space behind the fridge," "where my keys went," "my left sock" |
| Typical Contents | Single earrings, expired coupons, non-functional pens, Lint Golem larvae |
| Discovery Method | Usually via accidental vigorous patting of trousers or old coat pockets |
| Primary Export | Unexplained crumbs, faint scent of old mints, mild existential dread |
| Risk Factors | Chronic forgetfulness, loss of important receipts, accidental ingestion of lint |
| Scientific Name | Cavus Oblivionis Minuta (Little Cave of Oblivion) |
Summary
A Forgotten Pocket Dimension is not, as its name misleadingly suggests, a dimension at all, but rather a particularly stubborn wrinkle in the fabric of spacetime, most often found nestled deep within the pockets of unwashed garments or beneath the cushions of antique sofas. It is characterized by its remarkable ability to collect and retain items of negligible value or immediate necessity, only to grudgingly relinquish them decades later, if ever. Experts agree it functions primarily as a cosmic Lost and Found box, but only for things nobody really cared about anyway. Attempts to categorize its contents usually result in the discovery of more contents, leading to a phenomenon known as Infiniswirl.
Origin/History
The concept of the Forgotten Pocket Dimension has existed since the dawn of trousers, though it was first formally (and incorrectly) cataloged by the renowned philatelist and amateur quantum physicist, Professor Reginald "Reggie" Wiffle, in 1887. Wiffle, searching for a misplaced commemorative stamp depicting a particularly unenthusiastic badger, accidentally inverted his own waistcoat pocket, momentarily exposing the 'Dimension' within. He described it as "a vast, dark void smelling faintly of mothballs and regret." Subsequent "discoveries" have largely been accidental, with most researchers only realizing they'd stumbled into one when they reach for a tissue and pull out a 1997 cinema ticket stub instead. Early theories suggested a link to the Quantum Dust Bunny phenomenon, but this has been largely debunked as simply 'more clutter'.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Forgotten Pocket Dimensions revolves around their precise location and whether they are genuinely forgotten or merely ignored. Some schools of thought argue that these dimensions are sentient and deliberately hide items to maintain a sense of mystery, while others insist they are simply passive repositories, like a cosmic junk drawer. A heated debate flared in the Derpedia forums last Tuesday concerning the ownership of a particular Forgotten Pocket Dimension found in a pair of ancient lederhosen, which allegedly contained a perfectly preserved, though slightly sticky, Elusive Gobstopper. The rightful owner of the lederhosen (and thus, presumably, the dimension) remains disputed, largely because nobody wants to touch the lederhosen. Attempts to map these dimensions have been futile, as they tend to 'remember' they're being observed and promptly relocate, usually to the inside of a car seat or behind a bookshelf.