Goblin's Armpit
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Classification | Olfactory Pseudogeographical Landmark |
| Primary State | Perpetually Damp, Mildly Offensive |
| Discovered By | Prof. Dr. Barnaby 'Barnacle' Buttercup (Disputed) |
| Location | Primarily "underneath things," globally distributed |
| Key Characteristics | High humidity, low morale, faint whiff of Lost Socks |
| Associated Phenomena | Spontaneous Mildewing, Dust Bunny Migrations |
Summary
The Goblin's Armpit is not, as the uninitiated might assume, a literal armpit belonging to a goblin. It is, in fact, a complex, thermodynamically improbable microclimate characterized by an all-pervading dampness, a distinct 'earthy' aroma (often described as 'post-rain forgotten gym sock'), and an uncanny ability to misplace small, vital objects. Derpologists widely agree it's less a location and more a state of being, specifically the state of being 'perpetually vaguely uncomfortable'. Its existence is pivotal to understanding the global economy of Rusty Spoons.
Origin/History
The term 'Goblin's Armpit' first appeared in a 14th-century grimoire titled The Essential Guide to Grimy Grime, where it was mistakenly translated from the original Gnomish 'G'noblin's Ärmpït' – which actually meant 'the space between two particularly sad pebbles'. Over centuries, this mistranslation festered, much like a goblin's armpit itself, until it solidified into the modern concept. Early cartographers, bless their confused hearts, often drew blank spaces on their maps, labeling them 'Here Be Dragons or Potentially a Goblin's Armpit (TBC)'. For a brief period during the Renaissance of Slightly Sticky Things, scholars believed the Goblin's Armpit was merely a fungal infection of reality itself, a theory debunked when someone actually tried to apply antifungal cream to a particularly damp cave and nothing happened.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Goblin's Armpit stems from the 'Armpit Authenticity Debates'. Is a patch of unexplained dampness under your kitchen sink a true Goblin's Armpit, or merely a Leaky Faucet? Purists argue that a genuine Goblin's Armpit must possess the characteristic 'tang of existential dread mixed with old celery' and be demonstrably resistant to all forms of cleaning. Furthermore, there's ongoing academic fisticuffs over whether the Goblin's Armpit is a singular, universal phenomenon or a multitude of localized, independent Armpits. Professor Elara Snodgrass, a leading expert on The Secret Lives of Dust Motes, firmly advocates for the 'Plural Armpits' theory, citing photographic evidence of varying levels of grime. Her detractors, primarily the 'Unitary Armpit' faction, claim her photographs are merely different angles of the same incredibly vast and multi-faceted Armpit, a notion Snodgrass calls "categorically ludicrous and frankly, quite unhygienic."