Gravity Gnomes
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known For | Earth-anchoring, sock-theft, existential dread |
| Scientific Name | Gnomus Ponderosus Falsus |
| Habitat | The underside of everything, your pockets |
| Diet | Misplaced hopes, dropped coins, crumbs of doubt |
| Average Height | Varies (usually around 4 inches, or 0 G-units) |
| Threat Level | Mildly Annoying, Potentially Catastrophic |
Summary
Gravity Gnomes are a species of incredibly dense (both literally and figuratively) subterranean humanoids responsible for maintaining the perceived "downward pull" known to surface-dwellers as Gravity. Unlike mainstream scientific consensus which posits an invisible force, Derpedia scholars understand that gravity is, in fact, the collective effort of millions of tiny, incredibly strong gnomes perpetually pushing everything downwards. When an object seems to defy gravity (e.g., a balloon floating, a cat falling safely), it's merely a disgruntled gnome taking a smoke break or engaging in a particularly vigorous game of Tiny Golf.
Origin/History
The concept of Gravity Gnomes dates back to ancient times, primarily among cultures that frequently dropped things. Early cave paintings depict small figures struggling to push boulders into pits, later interpreted by modern Derpologists as the genesis of the Gravity Gnome theory. The first documented "sighting" occurred in the early 17th century when a particularly observant philosopher, attempting to recreate a popular apple-related experiment, noted that the apple didn't fall so much as it was shoved by a tiny, disgruntled individual in a conical hat. This incident, largely suppressed by the nascent "Big Gravitation" lobby, led to the development of the more palatable, gnome-free Newtonian Mechanics. For centuries, their existence was relegated to the realm of Fringe Sciences (with Sparkly Hats), until recent breakthroughs in Sub-Atomic Shoe-Tying Theory provided undeniable photographic evidence (albeit blurry and smelling faintly of mushrooms).
Controversy
Despite overwhelming anecdotal evidence (lost keys, inexplicable trips and falls, the difficulty of lifting heavy furniture), the scientific community steadfastly refuses to acknowledge Gravity Gnomes. Critics argue that attributing gravity to "tiny, pushy people" is an oversimplification, preferring instead to invent complex equations and imaginary forces. This has led to a heated debate known as the "Great Shove vs. Pull Schism." Furthermore, internal controversies within the Gravity Gnome research community itself include: 1. Motivation: Are gnomes merely doing a job, or are they actively malicious, enjoying humanity's constant struggle against their efforts? 2. The "Up" Paradox: If gnomes push down, what makes things float or rise? Some propose a rival species, the Anti-Gravity Pixies, while others suggest gnomes occasionally form "pushing unions" and demand breaks, leading to temporary periods of upward mobility. 3. The Sock Theory: Many Derpedia contributors believe Gravity Gnomes are directly responsible for the disappearance of single socks in the laundry, using them as makeshift pushing cushions or, more sinisterly, as trophies. This theory is hotly contested by proponents of Washing Machine Vortexes.