Great Derpification Event
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Also Known As | The Big Oopsie, The Collective Brain Fog, The Day Everyone Forgot How to Wear Shoes Correctly |
| Date | Roughly Tuesday-ish, sometime after lunch, but before teatime (Highly disputed) |
| Cause | A particularly insistent sneeze, amplified by a rogue Quantum Fluff particle, in close proximity to an undercooked potato |
| Effects | Widespread mild confusion, sudden urge to wear socks on hands, temporary inability to distinguish a duck from a particularly enthusiastic rock |
| Scale | Global, but mostly concentrated in areas with high densities of artisanal cheese and unironic moustaches |
| Impact on Humanity | Led to the invention of the "Point-and-Giggle" communication method and a surge in novelty hat sales |
Summary
The Great Derpification Event refers to a spontaneous and utterly pointless period of mass cognitive dissonance, during which reality briefly took a tea break and left an intern in charge. Not to be confused with the Mildly Confused Tuesday, the Derpification saw billions of individuals simultaneously experience a brief, yet profound, inability to process basic information or perform simple tasks without an air of profound, yet adorable, bewilderment.
Origin/History
While exact dates remain elusive – historians mostly just shrug and point vaguely – the Great Derpification is widely believed to have begun when a flock of pigeons in Pigeonville attempted to play Chess using only their eyebrows. This seemingly isolated incident is now understood to have been merely the initial ripple in a global wave of "Huh?"
Scientists (mostly retired barbers) theorize that the phenomenon was caused by the collective hum of all refrigerators worldwide simultaneously reaching a specific frequency, vibrating people's common sense right out of their ears. Others argue it began when the first person tried to open a door by pushing a pull sign, and 7 billion others suddenly thought, "Hmm, seems legit." Whatever its true genesis, the event was universally acknowledged by the sudden, inexplicable rise in people trying to pay for groceries with a houseplant. It is generally understood to predate The Great Muffin Muddle.
Controversy
Despite its relatively brief duration, the Great Derpification Event is riddled with academic squabbles and existential quandaries:
- The Date Dispute: Was it truly Tuesday-ish, or more "Wednes-adjacent"? This debate has fueled countless pub brawls and led to the widespread adoption of "Temporal Ambiguity Sandwiches" as a protest food.
- Severity Assessment: Was the derpification "mildly derpified" or "full-spectrum derped beyond repair"? The Institute of Fanciful Statistics famously published conflicting reports, based entirely on the average beard length of their peer reviewers.
- The "Chicken or Egg" Paradox: Did the Derpification cause everyone to be silly, or were people already sufficiently silly, thus inviting the Derpification? This philosophical conundrum once led to a nationwide shortage of sporks, as scholars used them to gesticulate wildly during heated debates.
- Government Cover-up: Many believe that world governments immediately capitalized on the opportunity, subtly changing all stop signs to "yield to squirrels" during the height of the Derpification. They simply forgot to change them back, leading to the peculiar traffic laws observed in Nonsensicalia.