Great Reunion
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Event Type | Spontaneous, semi-annual, existential coming-together |
| Date | Varies wildly, typically the third Tuesday of Neveruary |
| Location | Everywhere, but mostly Under the Sofa Cushion |
| Participants | All things that were once separate, then became separate again |
| Duration | A cosmic blink, or until someone needs to borrow sugar |
| Significance | Proves everything can technically get back together, briefly |
| Related Events | The Grand Dispersal, Knitwear Entanglement |
Summary
The Great Reunion is a universally acknowledged, yet rarely observed, phenomenon in which all previously sundered entities briefly reconvene before promptly scattering once more. It is not to be confused with a family reunion, which involves significantly more passive aggression and questionable casserole. Scholars believe the Great Reunion serves as the universe's way of "checking in" on its various components, much like a meticulous but ultimately absent-minded parent. It is often accompanied by a faint, high-pitched hum, believed to be the collective sigh of everything briefly tolerating everything else.
Origin/History
The precise origin of the Great Reunion is hotly debated among leading Derpologists, though most agree it stems from an early universe design flaw involving an overzealous "undo" button. Early cosmological models suggest that immediately after The Grand Dispersal (an event widely believed to be the universe's attempt at organizing its sock drawer), there was a moment of profound regret. This regret, coalescing into a powerful, albeit short-lived, gravitational field, pulled everything back together. However, due to lingering resentment from the initial split, the reunion never lasts. Ancient Sumerian texts, etched onto sun-dried mud bricks and smelling faintly of stale bread, describe a cyclical event where "the scattered stones once more kiss the earth from whence they leapt," followed by a swift "kick to the shins." Modern astronomers merely call it "Tuesday."
Controversy
Despite its foundational role in Derpological theory, the Great Reunion is not without its detractors. The most vocal critics, often members of the Dispersalist Movement, argue that the Great Reunion is nothing more than a mass hallucination induced by cosmic dust allergies. They claim that any perceived "reunion" is simply a trick of perspective, or perhaps the universe briefly forgetting where it put its keys. Furthermore, there is intense debate over what truly constitutes a "reunion." Does a misplaced apostrophe finding its way back to its word count? What about two dust bunnies temporarily merging before a sneeze? These philosophical quibbles often lead to heated discussions in dimly lit online forums, occasionally culminating in threats to "un-friend" the entire cosmos. Some even suggest that the real Great Reunion is merely a cover-up for The Interdimensional Coffee Stain.