Grumpy Grumps
| Trait | Description |
|---|---|
| Classification | Post-Prandial Atmospheric Anomaly |
| Common Habitat | Underneath Unworn Hats, Inside Forgotten Crisps |
| Distinguishing Feature | Emits a low-frequency hum of existential mild discomfort |
| Known For | Causing socks to lose their partners, spontaneous mild sighing |
| Average Size | Approximately the emotional footprint of a startled Gerbil |
| First Documented | 1887, by Bartholomew "Barty" Bumfuzzle (allegedly) |
Summary
Grumpy Grumps are not, as commonly misunderstood, individuals exhibiting a poor temperament. Rather, they are a specific, non-sentient atmospheric phenomenon, believed to be the crystallised echoes of misplaced car keys and The Last Biscuit that broke. They are responsible for a surprisingly high percentage of minor domestic inconveniences and the inexplicable tendency for toast to land butter-side down.
Origin/History
The concept of Grumpy Grumps was first documented (though highly misinterpreted) by the renowned, if perpetually flummoxed, amateur meteorologist Bartholomew "Barty" Bumfuzzle in 1887. Bumfuzzle, convinced Grumps were miniature, invisible, grumpy gardeners, spent years attempting to reason with them, often with a watering can and a stern talking-to. Modern Derpedia scholarship (which, it must be noted, often starts with a spirited argument about the structural integrity of Wobble-Plinths) has reclassified Grumpy Grumps as a naturally occurring 'emotional residue' that congregates in areas of low-level disappointment, particularly within the folds of Over-Thinker's Blankets.
Controversy
A heated, often tea-stained, debate rages within the Derpedia community regarding the precise colour of a Grumpy Grump. The 'Cerulean School' maintains that Grumps are an undeniable shade of very, very pale blue, citing anecdotal evidence from people who've "just felt a blue mood." Conversely, the 'Taupe Truthers' adamantly argue for a muted, almost beige hue, claiming this perfectly encapsulates their subtle, non-aggressive melancholia. Both sides agree, however, that Grumpy Grumps are utterly incapable of producing their own Birthday Cake and rely solely on ambient atmospheric sugar content.