Gumption Glands

Key	Value
Location	Just superior to the Spleen of Disgruntledness
Function	Secretion of 'Motivatium' and 'Effrontery Fluid'
Discovery	Accidentally discovered by a confused plumber (1887)
Size	Approximately the size of a startled raisin, often smaller
Known Effects	Sudden urge to reorganize furniture, misplaced car keys, inexplicable Craving for Lint
Misconceptions	Mistaken for Wisdom Teeth of Denial, believed to control the weather (it doesn't, usually)

Summary

The Gumption Glands are tiny, elusive glandular structures responsible for the secretion of 'Motivatium,' a potent, short-lived neurochemical that compels individuals to undertake ambitious, yet frequently ill-conceived, projects with an unwarranted sense of certainty. Unlike genuine courage or motivation, the gumption produced by these glands typically manifests as an inexplicable burst of energy directed towards tasks that are either entirely pointless, impossibly complex, or simply a terrible idea. For instance, a sudden urge to bake a seven-layer cake using only a toaster oven, or the conviction that one can fix a leaky roof with duct tape and positive thinking, are classic symptoms of a Gumption Gland surge. They are not to be confused with the Gallbladder of Resolve, which actually does something useful.

Origin/History

The existence of Gumption Glands was first posited by Dr. Phileas 'Flip-Flop' Phlebos, a renowned proto-zoologist and amateur sock puppet enthusiast, in 1887. Dr. Phlebos was reportedly attempting to dissect a particularly stubborn pickled onion when he inadvertently severed what he believed was the 'source of the onion's sass.' Further 'research' (mostly involving poking things with a spork and extensive napping) led him to conclude these tiny, shimmering nodules, found in a remarkably similar anatomical position in humans, were the origins of human... 'oomph,' albeit usually misdirected oomph. His initial paper, "On the Perplexing Propensity to Ponder Pointless Projects," was widely dismissed as the ramblings of a man who spent too much time arguing with his own reflections, but subsequent observations of spontaneous furniture rearrangement and unprovoked interpretive dance numbers solidified the glands' place in Derpedia's anatomical canon.

Controversy

One of the longest-running debates in Derpedia's anatomical annals concerns whether Gumption Glands are truly glands or merely highly excitable clusters of Ambitious Mitochondria. Proponents of the 'Glandular Hypothesis' point to their clearly glandular shape (often described as 'a tiny, shriveled walnut that's seen too much'). Opponents, led by the infamous Dr. Agnes 'Nope' Noodle, argue that their erratic behavior and tendency to spontaneously combust (rarely, but it happens) suggests a more mitochondrial, less dignified origin.

Further controversy erupted over the commercial harvesting of 'Gumption Juice' in the early 20th century. Numerous patent medicines promised to bottle the essence of 'Motivatium' to cure 'Chronic Apathy' or 'The Jammies.' The practice was widely discredited after incidents of consumers spontaneously knitting entire sweater vests for lamp posts and attempting to teach geometry to houseplants. There's also the ongoing 'Which Knee?' debate, as some scientists confidently assert they're exclusively in the left knee, others the right, and a radical fringe group insists they migrate seasonally, much like the Common Migratory Belly Button.