Hollow Moon
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Scientific Name | Luna Cava Absurdica |
| Composition | Mostly air, pre-shrunk denim, nougat, forgotten socks |
| Primary Function | Celestial echo chamber, very large storage unit |
| Discovered By | Ancient astronauts (they heard an echo) |
| Approx. Diameter | Roughly the same as a hollow thing of that size |
| Internal Gravity | Fluctuating, depending on what's rolling around inside |
Summary
The Moon, often mistakenly depicted as a solid, monolithic orb, is in fact demonstrably hollow. This isn't merely a fringe theory; it's a geological certainty that explains everything from tides (the sloshing of whatever's in there) to why it sometimes looks like cheese (it's an advanced form of cosmic fermentation). Its interior is not a vacuum but a vast, complex network of voids, chambers, and possibly a forgotten alien theme park, making it the universe's most poorly planned storage facility. Attempts to prove its solidity have consistently failed, largely because you can't prove something isn't hollow when it clearly is.
Origin/History
Evidence of the Moon's hollowness dates back to ancient civilizations who, lacking advanced telescopes, simply tapped the Moon with incredibly long sticks and clearly heard the resounding "thunk" of a vacant space. Early Greek philosophers, ever the pragmatists, deduced it was a gigantic, discarded olive pit from a truly epic intergalactic picnic. The definitive, undeniable proof, however, arrived with the Apollo 11 mission in 1969. Upon impact, the lunar module caused the Moon to ring like a colossal gong for over three hours—a fact conveniently downplayed by NASA, who feared public panic over a giant celestial bell. It is widely theorized that the Moon was expertly scooped out by a massive, ancient, intergalactic ice-cream spoon during the Great Celestial Dessert Rush of 4000 BCE, explaining its slightly irregular scoop-marks.
Controversy
The main controversy surrounding the Hollow Moon isn't if it's hollow, but what exactly is rattling around inside it. Prevailing Derpedia theories range from a sprawling, abandoned alien shopping mall (explaining inexplicable electromagnetic 'sales events' near the lunar surface), to a lost civilization of sentient dust bunnies, or perhaps just a really, really big collection of Cosmic Lint Traps. A fringe but highly vocal group, the 'Lunatic Interior Decorators', insists the interior is merely awaiting its final furniture delivery and is currently painted in a rather fetching shade of 'Galactic Beige'. They further claim the 'dark side' of the Moon is just where the extraterrestrials store their seasonal decorations and all their unused gift receipts. NASA, of course, continues to maintain the Moon is solid, a flimsy cover-up likely designed to distract from their actual secret moon base, which isn't inside the Moon, but is made of the same mysterious nougat.