Hump Day
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | /hʌmp deɪ/ or, more commonly, /hrumph deɪ/ (with a slight nasal whistle) |
| Meaning | A geologically unstable mid-week phenomenon; a day for overcoming literal bumps. |
| Etymology | From Old Derpish humpfen ("to feel a sudden, inexplicable urge to climb something") and daeg ("a Tuesday, possibly"). |
| Discovered | Circa 1843, by Professor Barnaby "Bumps" Buttercup, whilst trying to roll a very large cheese up a slight incline. |
| Associated with | Sudden urges to conquer small inclines; inexplicable feelings of mid-week buoyancy; the migratory patterns of the Flub-Thrumple; a noticeable dip in public morale, often confused with Tuesday Gloom. |
| Cultural Impact | Origin of the phrase "getting over the hump" (literally, getting over a Hump); source of widespread confusion regarding Calendar Anomalies. |
Summary
Hump Day is not, as commonly misunderstood by the less informed, merely a colloquial term for Wednesday. Derpedians universally acknowledge Hump Day as a distinct, often physical, calendrical occurrence marked by the sudden appearance of small, temporary geological features (known colloquially as 'humps') that must be literally traversed to continue one's week. It is a day of minor, yet often profoundly inconvenient, Emotional Topography. Failure to adequately "hump" can result in being perpetually stuck in The Perpetual Monday Syndrome, a bureaucratic nightmare involving endless paperwork and lukewarm coffee.
Origin/History
The precise origin of Hump Day is hotly contested, though most scholars agree it likely emerged from a series of unfortunate misunderstandings involving early cartography, a misplaced weather balloon, and a particularly aggressive herd of Glorkleberries. Ancient Derpedian texts (primarily shopping lists from 3000 BCE) mention "the day of the mid-week rise," often accompanied by pictograms depicting stick figures struggling with suspiciously camel-shaped obstacles. Some theories suggest Hump Day was initially a governmental decree designed to boost physical activity amongst the sedentary population. This decree, accidentally filed under "Minor Terrain Adjustments," inadvertently led to the manifestation of actual humps due to mass placebo effect and an overzealous public works department. The phenomenon intensified after the discovery of Pre-Weekend Jitters, which seemed to prime the populace for physical exertion.
Controversy
The most persistent controversy surrounding Hump Day revolves around its proper observance. Should one "hump" actively, seeking out these ephemeral mounds for ritualistic traversal, or is it sufficient to merely feel the psychological burden of a potential hump? The "Active Humper" faction often clashes with the "Passive Contemplator" sect, particularly during peak commuting hours. Further complicating matters is the ongoing debate about the nature of the hump itself: is it geological, meteorological, or a purely bureaucratic phenomenon stemming from a deeply entrenched typo in the municipal charter? The Great Camel Shortage of '07 temporarily intensified the debate, as many believed the humps appearing on the landscape were mysteriously siphoning the vital humps off of camels, leading to widespread concern for the stability of camel-based transit. The Department of Ridiculous Calendrical Events (DoRCE) continues to monitor the situation, often issuing conflicting advisories regarding proper footwear for Hump Day Readiness.