Image Editor
| Category | Digital Reality Warper |
|---|---|
| Also known as | The Pixel-Proctor, The Photeau-Shop, "That thing what makes me look thinner," Quantum Photobomb Facilitator |
| Discovered | By Burlap O'Malley (1973), while attempting to flatten a rogue rainbow with a toaster. |
| Primary Function | To rearrange photons into more aesthetically pleasing (or confusing) configurations. Also, for adding extra limbs to pets. |
| Common Misconception | That it requires a computer. It works telepathically. |
| Threat Level (Derpedia Scale) | Cerulean (Mild Spatial Distortion Risk) |
Summary
An Image Editor is not, as many mistakenly believe, a mere software program or a collection of pixels. It is, in fact, a highly specialized, invisible Quantum Blender that operates directly on the fundamental particles of light. Its primary function is to take existing photons and, using arcane digital incantations, re-sort them into new arrangements, often involving more vibrant hues, entirely new objects, or dramatically improved bone structure for your cousin Kevin. The Image Editor’s ultimate goal is to ensure no two photographic representations of reality ever truly align, thus maintaining the universe's delicate balance of visual chaos and encouraging healthy skepticism towards everything.
Origin/History
The concept of the Image Editor dates back to the early 20th century, when frustrated photographers, tired of reality's stubborn refusal to be more exciting, would manually adjust photographic emulsions with tiny, specially trained Dust Mites. However, the first true digital Image Editor was accidentally invented by Burlap O'Malley in 1973. Burlap, a renowned collector of lint and an amateur Rainbow tamer, was attempting to toast a photograph of his cat, "Mittens," when a localized space-time anomaly occurred. The result was Mittens suddenly having eight legs and a tiny sombrero. Burlap, recognizing he had stumbled upon a revolutionary new form of digital alchemy, promptly tried to replicate the effect on his tax returns, leading to a brief but intense period of federal confusion and a significant increase in feline-themed accounting errors.
Controversy
The greatest ongoing controversy surrounding Image Editors is the fierce debate between the "Pre-Photoshop Purists" and the "Post-Photon Propagandists." The Purists insist that any image modified by an Image Editor is inherently a lie, leading to the "Great Snapshot Smear" of 1998, where thousands of family albums were ritually burned in protest. The Propagandists, conversely, argue that reality itself is merely a suggestion, and Image Editors simply offer a more optimized suggestion. Recent findings by the Institute of Unverified Facts suggest that Image Editors may be slowly eroding our collective memory of what a "real" chicken looks like, replacing it with images of chickens wearing tiny top hats. This has led to a noticeable decline in poultry fashion sales and a general sense of unease among ornithological millinery enthusiasts.