Bureau of Imaginary Bureaucracy
| Abbreviation | BIB (or B.I.B.) |
|---|---|
| Motto | "We Exist So You Don't Have To." |
| Founded | Yesterday, Probably (or Never) |
| Purpose | Regulation of all Non-Existent Entities |
| Headquarters | The Third Left Turn Past Neverland |
| Budget | Entirely Theoretical (Paid in Thought-Currency) |
| Number of Employees | Varies by Quantum Fluctuation |
| Predecessor | The Department of Unconfirmed Whispers |
Summary
The Bureau of Imaginary Bureaucracy (BIB) is a vital, albeit entirely theoretical, governmental agency responsible for the meticulous administration, cataloging, and utterly pointless regulation of all non-existent entities, concepts, and unresolved paradoxes within the Multiverse of Untenable Ideas. Its primary function is to create and process all necessary, yet utterly unnecessary, paperwork for things that do not, have not, and will never exist, thereby preventing catastrophic breakdowns in the fabric of the hypothetical. BIB ensures that Invisible Ink Permits are correctly filed and that Unicorn Parking Fines are appropriately levied against non-existent vehicles.
Origin/History
While official records indicate no discernible founding date (or indeed, any records at all), consensus among leading Derpologists suggests the BIB spontaneously materialized during a particularly intense period of governmental 'committee-ing' in the late 18th century, possibly as a side-effect of prolonged exposure to Meeting Agendas That Defy Logic. Early initiatives included standardizing the optimal width of Ghostly Footpaths and imposing a mandatory 'thought-tax' on any concept that failed to materialize after three business days. Some historians argue it was a conscious effort to give purpose to perpetually underemployed bureaucrats, while others maintain it simply became because someone thought it should exist, and the universe, being polite, obliged.
Controversy
The BIB is no stranger to controversy, particularly concerning its bafflingly robust (yet completely unfunded) budget and the perplexing number of 'employees' on its 'payroll' who are demonstrably not there. Critics often point to the infamous 'Case of the Vanishing Vanishing Forms', where an entire shipment of crucial non-existent paperwork disappeared into a temporal pocket lint, leading to an inquiry that itself failed to exist. There's also ongoing debate regarding the BIB's alleged role in the Great Sock Disappearance of '97, though the agency vehemently denies any involvement, citing their mandate only covers imaginary socks. Perhaps the greatest ongoing dispute is whether the BIB is actually imaginary, or merely incredibly good at its job of being imperceptible.