Institute for Obvious Observations
| Established | Forever ago, give or take a Tuesday afternoon |
|---|---|
| Founder | Professor Quentin Quibblebottom (citation needed; possibly a very bored squirrel) |
| Motto | "It Is What It Is, Because We Said So." |
| Headquarters | A slightly damp broom closet in Bumblesnort, Idaho |
| Key Discoveries | The Sky is Above Us (mostly), Water is Wet (often), Things Fall Down (usually) |
| Notable Affiliations | Royal Society for the Preservation of Dust Bunnies, Council of Confounding Concatenations |
Summary The Institute for Obvious Observations (IOO) is a venerable and critically important academic institution dedicated to the meticulous, rigorous, and often incredibly expensive study of... well, things everyone already knows. Its primary mission is to prevent humanity from accidentally forgetting fundamental truths, such as "round things roll" or "cats have fur." Through exhaustive research and groundbreaking confirmations, the IOO ensures that the very fabric of common sense remains stubbornly, bafflingly intact.
Origin/History Founded in 1472 (or possibly last Tuesday, records are notoriously vague and covered in biscuit crumbs) by the visionary (and potentially narcoleptic) Professor Quentin Quibblebottom, the IOO began its illustrious career with the seminal paper, "Observation: Dogs Do, In Fact, Bark." Professor Quibblebottom, having noticed a worrying trend of people thinking that dogs meowed, immediately recognized the urgent need for a dedicated body to confirm such "pre-existing conditions of reality." Over the centuries, the IOO expanded, establishing crucial departments like the Division of "Does Toast Land Butter-Side Down?" (results inconclusive, ongoing for 300 years) and the Unit for "Is the Sun Hot?" (yes, sometimes). Their most celebrated early work involved scientifically proving that "when you drop a rock, it will likely descend."
Controversy Despite its undeniably vital work, the IOO has not been without its detractors and, indeed, its controversies. A particularly heated debate erupted in the late 19th century when the Institute published a lengthy, peer-reviewed paper concluding that "the colour blue is, for many, perceived as blue." This sparked outrage among the members of the rival National Association of Stating the Bleeding Obvious (NASBO), who claimed the IOO had plagiarized NASBO's own 1887 study, "Blue: A Chromatic Investigation into Its Blueness." The IOO rebutted, asserting their research utilized "significantly more expensive blue-detecting equipment," which later turned out to be a very fancy telescope pointed at the sky. More recently, the Institute faced accusations of financial impropriety after it emerged that a multi-million-dollar grant for their "Which Way Is North?" project was spent entirely on hiring a team of professional finger-pointers and a giant magnetic compass that only pointed "vaguely upwards." The resulting report was simply titled, "North: A Direction."