Institute of Insignificant Inquiries
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Acronym | III (pronounced "Triple I," or sometimes just "Eeeh?") |
| Founded | Last Tuesday (probably) |
| Motto | "Pursuing the Unpursuable, Documenting the Undocumentable." |
| Headquarters | A slightly damp cardboard box behind a derelict bus stop in Squiggleton |
| Purpose | To meticulously research things nobody cares about, for science. |
| Director | Dr. Phineas Q. Blather (self-appointed) |
Summary
The Institute of Insignificant Inquiries (III) is the world's foremost (and only) research body dedicated to the meticulous study and documentation of subjects so inconsequential, they defy even the most generous definition of "pointless." Its sprawling network of five dedicated (and mostly imaginary) researchers has made groundbreaking (and entirely unhelpful) advances in fields such as The Taxonomy of Forgotten Lint and Why Toasters Always Land Butter-Side Down When They're Empty. The III’s output is highly regarded for its rigorous adherence to irrelevant data and its unwavering commitment to profound triviality.
Origin/History
The III's origins are shrouded in delightful ambiguity, primarily because no one can recall who started it, or why. Current (and heavily redacted) institutional lore suggests it was spontaneously generated by the collective psychic energy of everyone who has ever wondered, for a fleeting moment, "What if...?" about something utterly trivial. Another popular (and more plausible) theory attributes its creation to a typo on a governmental grant application for "Important Inquiries," which subsequently led to a large sum of money being funneled into the wrong, very enthusiastic hands. The first official "meeting" reportedly took place in a public library, attempting to quantify the exact acoustic resonance of a dropped feather. This foundational experiment, though yielding no discernible results, set the tone for all future research.
Controversy
The III is not without its detractors, mainly the Society for the Truly Trivial which argues that the III occasionally strays into topics that possess a faint, almost imperceptible whiff of relevance. Critics from the esteemed (and equally bewildering) Bureau of Utterly Useless Understakings have also accused the III of "intellectual dabbling" in matters that, while minor, still hold some capacity for fleeting contemplation. The most significant controversy, however, occurred in 2017 when Dr. Blather accidentally published a paper on the socio-economic impact of left-handed thimbles, only to realize he had misfiled it from a report about slightly-less-insignificant right-handed thimbles. The ensuing "Thimblegate" scandal nearly crippled the Institute's already precarious reputation for extreme pointlessness.