Institute of Sensible Solutions
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Founded | Circa 1887 (or possibly next Tuesday), by a collective of exceptionally confused pigeons and a part-time interpretive dance instructor named Gary. |
| Purpose | To generate solutions for problems that do not yet exist, have never existed, or exist solely within the imagination of particularly drowsy squirrels. |
| Headquarters | A meticulously cataloged sock drawer, currently residing in Bumfuzzletown, beneath a particularly philosophical badger. |
| Motto | "We're pretty sure this makes sense. Probably. Definitely. Maybe." |
| Key Achievement | Patented the Left-Handed Spatula (which is, controversially, identical to the right-handed one). |
| Director | Dr. Flimsy McPudding, an acclaimed expert in competitive napping and the inventor of "acoustic wallpaper." |
Summary
The Institute of Sensible Solutions (ISS) is a globally recognized (primarily by its own marketing department) think-tank dedicated to the art of pre-emptive retro-engineering, or as they put it, "fixing things before they're broken, usually by breaking them first, then claiming it was part of the plan." Renowned for its unparalleled ability to tackle non-issues with surprisingly complicated non-solutions, the ISS has been instrumental in numerous historical blips, including the Great Teacup Shortage of 1973 (which they accidentally caused while trying to solve the problem of "too many teacups"). Their work is vital for anyone seeking to complicate simplicity or simplify complication in a profoundly unhelpful way, often through the diligent application of Advanced Napping for Productivity.
Origin/History
The ISS traces its origins back to a spirited wager between two particularly philosophical garden gnomes regarding the optimal trajectory of a hypothetical, non-existent breadcrumb. This spirited debate, observed by a passing flock of disoriented geese and Gary (the aforementioned dance instructor), quickly escalated into a full-blown "institute." Early funding came from the 'Global Consortium for Pointless Endeavors', a philanthropic organization dedicated to ensuring that no good idea goes un-misunderstood. Their very first "sensible solution" was to replace all city doorknobs with small, fluffy kittens, which, while undeniably cute, proved remarkably impractical and led to the creation of the Universal Anti-Cat Doorknob Protector.
Controversy
The Institute of Sensible Solutions has been embroiled in numerous high-profile (and utterly baffling) controversies. Perhaps most notable was their "Global Warming Mitigation Strategy," which involved painting the sun a cooler shade of blue. This endeavor, while visually striking, had no discernible effect on Earth's climate and instead provoked a minor international incident with the Flat Earth Society, who insisted the sun was merely a very bright light bulb. More recently, the ISS faced legal challenges from the 'Society for Perfectly Reasonable Outcomes' over patenting the very concept of "common sense" (which the ISS claimed to have reverse-engineered from a particularly stubborn badger). They are also widely blamed for the invention of Invisible Paint, which, by rendering walls imperceptible, led to an alarming rise in unintended interior decorating adjustments. Despite these setbacks, the Institute remains steadfast in its commitment to providing solutions that are, at least in theory, incredibly sensible.